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You are innately well - you always have been and always will be. If you're not experiencing wellness, you are innocently lost in a thick fog of thought. I can help you cut through the fog to reconnect with the peace of mind, clarity and confidence that are already within you.

I help women suffering from bulimia and binge eating disorder, using an amazingly effective, easy, brilliant new brain-based approach. You don't have to suffer any longer.

One of my favorite experiments to suggest is for people to watch their internal slate clear. blank slate

So Mary notices herself nervous about her job interview. In the thick of her nerves, they are all she can feel. Then, she notices at some point mid-interview…or maybe it’s after the interview…that she feels different. Calmer.  A bit later still, she’s completely calm, back to what feels like home base.

Mary notices that she didn’t have to do anything. Some ideas of things she could do floated through her mind…she could go for a walk to break up the nerves, prepare for the interview questions, have a drink afterward to help her mind settle down…but she didn’t end up doing any of those things, and she still found herself back at home base

Tom sets out to notice too. When he gets frustrated with how his day is going, everything seems to go wrong. Work is frustrating, his girlfriend is frustrating, he drops his keys and forgets his coffee…all very frustrating.

At some point, he notices that he feels different. Nothing in particular happened, but the frustration has lifted a bit. Later that night, Tom has dinner with friends and they fall into one of those laughing-so-hard-your-stomach-hurts fits. Where did the frustration go?

Willow—my five year old—tells her little brother that she’s never going to play with him again. Four minutes later she’s dressing him up in her princess gear, explaining the rules of their next game.

Notice how swiftly and naturally your internal slate clears throughout a day. It will be difficult to miss that the fundamental design of the human mind is self-clearing. 

You can’t stay in one feeling if you try. The mind is self-correcting. Your psychological immune system ensures that you always find yourself back at home base.

Even when it looks like your break-up had you devastated for a month, or your depression had you down for a year, there were moments of clearing. In that month or that year, the slate cleared. You got an infinite number of do-overs.

After one of those do-overs, you may have innocently recreated your old feelings. When you tell yourself, “I’m depressed”, or you remind yourself “He never loved you”, you mindlessly recreate the feelings your circumstances seem to warrant.

But even then, the feelings always fade. They come and go, then you recreate them or you don’t.

When you observe your own psychological immune system in action, and you see how naturally and effortless your feelings come, go and change before your eyes, you foster a deeper understanding of the design of the human mind.

It becomes difficult to get caught up in any experience you have because you’ve seen how certainly it changes.

You always have another do-over coming.

Human beings are all the same. same and different

We are also extremely different.

See, all humans have the same basic nature. We’re working from one universal operating system, just like 1000 people who have a brand new iphone. Before pictures, apps, and downloads start happening, those 1000 phones are the same. Fresh out of the box, humans are largely the same too.

When we’re in a nice, peaceful feeling without a lot on our minds, we are like those phones fresh out of the box. We are living from our shared, basic nature. That commonplace, peaceful feeling is human home base; it’s our human operating system.

When we relax into our nature, we are just like everyone else. And you know it, don’t you? You see similarities far more than differences. You get along with everyone. You help others and you feel more deeply.

You feel connected and closer to home.

Within minutes of leaving the Apple store, those new iphones are filled with added, programmed, extraneous stuff that suddenly makes them different from each other.

Of course, they are only superficially different. If you wiped them clear of the programming you’d see that their basic nature hasn’t changed at all. Their basic nature can’t change, no matter what extraneous stuff gets added.

But on the surface, those iphones look different. Dissimilarities are obvious. They can all do different things, make different sounds, and function in unique ways.

Same with humans.

When we are lost in our own busy heads, thinking our own subjective thoughts, we see differences. The people around us look more like “them” than “us”. We feel more separate, as if we’re on our own, it’s us against the world, and no one truly understands us.

We’re caught up in our superficial uniqueness and it hides our fundamental sameness.

We get carried away by all of those icons…the ones for this program and that program. We focus on the programs we have versus the ones everyone else has, and we lose sight of the operating system that makes those apps and downloads possible.

Another way of saying this as it relates to people rather than iphones, is this: on your best day, you are infinitely more similar to all other humans than you are different. And you are far more similar to all other humans on your best day than you are on your worst day.

On your worst day, when you’re caught up in the surface waves of your very independent-looking life, you feel like an island.

You aren’t an island, but it looks that way through the fog of all of that thinking. When your thinking clears, the factory default setting are restored and you catch a glimpse of oneness again. 

The Mental Calming Effect of Commitment

February 12, 2015

Meet Dave.  When Dave was dating his girlfriend Debbie, he had a lot of complaints about her. Dave said Debbie was negative. She never saw possibilities, only problems. She expected too much of him. Dave said Debbie was hard to live with at times. And yet, something kept Dave hanging on. In time, Dave asked […]

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The Brain is Fascinating, but Don’t Stop There

February 5, 2015

The human brain is a pretty incredible organ, as far as organs go.   It is a remarkable, complex piece of machinery. And, it is a physical thing we can touch, observe and understand. Although we now know that it can change throughout life, it is still somewhat fixed, already formed, and bound by certain […]

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Why? is a Natural Question, but not always a Helpful One

January 29, 2015

Everyone wants to know why.  Why do I keep doing that? Why don’t I get it yet? Why do I feel this way? Why is a natural question. We’re curious…so we wonder why. Even more than that, we believe we need to know why so that we can solve our problems. Our problems look formidable […]

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Waiting to See what you Might Do

January 22, 2015

There is an idea I’ve been playing with lately—especially in the midst of visionaries, New Years’ resolution-ers, and game-planners. It’s the idea of waiting to see what you might do.  Waiting to see what you might do is in contrast to deciding what to do. It’s the opposite of mentally making a choice, or coming […]

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Why Willpower Doesn’t Work

January 8, 2015

I just found out that my upcoming book (it’ll be published by New Harbinger this time next year) will be called The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking any Habit. Although I wouldn’t have necessarily thought to describe it as a “no-willpower approach”, it is an accurate description. It’s not that […]

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Playing Dysfunctional Family Bingo–A Conversation about Expectations, Compassion, and Family

December 22, 2014

I loved this conversation with Lian Brook-Tyler, the wise soul behind the Born Happy website.  I told her about the Dysfunctional Family Bingo game (you know it, right?!?), and that spilled into all kinds of practical, deep conversation centered on having truly peaceful holidays (and life, really) no matter what your situation might be. Please […]

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An Invaluable Understanding

December 18, 2014

You’re never going to hear me tell you how to discipline your kid, when to ask for a raise at work, or what you should eat for dinner. I couldn’t possibly know the answers to those questions for you.  I barely know them for myself at times. What I can provide–which is enormously more helpful […]

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Seeing Something that Changes Everything

December 11, 2014

Last month I taught a class about ending unwanted habits, compulsions, and addictions based on the scientific the spiritual principles that freed me of my own binge eating disorder several years ago.  The basic principles are the same ones I write about here each week, and the ones around which my upcoming book on ending […]

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