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You are innately well - you always have been and always will be. If you're not experiencing wellness, you are innocently lost in a thick fog of thought. I can help you cut through the fog to reconnect with the peace of mind, clarity and confidence that are already within you.

I help women suffering from bulimia and binge eating disorder, using an amazingly effective, easy, brilliant new brain-based approach. You don't have to suffer any longer.

This poem was written by Sue Pettit and can be found in her beautiful littlehouse book of poetry called Coming Home. It is a perfect illustration of the simple truth that the only thing we’re ever experiencing is our own state of mind.

 

I’d been hunting for a house all day and nothing seemed quite right.

And then I happened on my dream house, much to my delight.

As I moved from room to room, I could feel this house my home.

And once I settled into it, I knew I’d never roam.

It had everything I wanted, and I smiled ’cause I could see

Special dreams that I had wished for would become reality.

It was in such good condition–not a thing I’d have to change.

Just move in and enjoy it. Peace and happiness would reign.

 

Three months later I sat looking at the room that I was in.

As I sat I started thinking, “Gee, the carpet’s worn and thin.

And the walls could use a coat of paint–cream, or maybe white,

That would make the room look larger and give it added light.”

There was not a thing I did not change as I sat there contemplating.

My dream house became a drab house needing much redecorating.

I no longer saw the things I had, just all the things I had to do.

Happiness is gone, I thought, ’til all the work is through.

After thirteen years I moved out, couldn’t take it anymore.

With all the constant work to do, the house was one big chore.

I cursed the house for changing–though it really was the same.

But through the years–I lost my dream and I thought it was to blame.

 

Looking back it all seems silly, can’t believe I didn’t see

That what made that house my dream house was a feeling inside of me.

When I listened to that feeling I just knew the house was right.

It was when I listened to my thoughts that the house became a fright.

So I went back to that same house dropping thoughts and expectations.

As I looked through love–I saw again my dream–a revelation.

So don’t give up on your dream house when it looks a little worn.

Just go back and find the feeling–deep inside–where dreams are born.

 

 

 

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Imagine that you wrote yourself a really mean letter, detailing all of your flaws and faults. trick

You put the letter in the mail, addressed to yourself.  A couple days later, it arrives in your mailbox.

You read the letter. While it probably doesn’t feel good—it might bring back the shame and judgment you were feeling when you wrote it—I bet you’re not offended by what you said to yourself.

You don’t feel insulted by your own insults because you realize that you wrote the letter. Those are your opinions and judgments you’re reading. You intuitively know that those opinions were created by you, and so it’s virtually impossible to become too offended or hurt by them.  

In their book Slowing Down to the Speed of Life, Joe Bailey and Richard Carlson say it this way:

“It’s easy…to remember that our voices are the product of our ability to speak. That’s why it’s almost impossible to scare yourself with your own voice. You can scream all you want, but you still won’t be able to frighten yourself! You simply are too aware that the sound you are hearing is being created by you. It is interesting to note that young infants will scare themselves with their own crying until the moment that they realize it is their crying that is producing the noise.”

We aren’t fooled by our voice or by the nasty letter because we know we are the source of those things.

But do you know that you are also the source of 100% your own feelings and experiences?

You are equipped with the amazing gift of consciousness. Your consciousness brings everything that runs through your head to life, making it look as if what you’re feeling is coming from outside and all around you.

Consciousness is referred to as your mind’s “special effects department” because it takes the conscious and unconscious thoughts in your head  and brings them to life as your full color, high definition, 3D, emotional experience.

You feel your specific combination of thought + consciousness in each and every moment, while it looks and feels as if you’re feeling the job you love, the fact that your dog isn’t housebroken, or that you’re tired, hungry, or alone.

You think, “when is that dog going to learn?!” over and over and the more you do, the more it looks like the dog is the problem.

Or you think, “this job/location/person makes me feel amazing. If I only had more of this, I’d be happy” over and over and then wonder why you feel great with the job/location/person and horrible without it. You’re feeling the thinking you’ve made habitual, not where you are or who you’re with.

When you come see that you are the true source of all of your experience, it’s like seeing that the nasty letter in the mail was written by you, or that the scream you’re hearing is your own.

Your understanding provides the opportunity to step back from that thinking.

When you step back from what’s in your head, new thoughts and options appear. Circumstances don’t have to change because circumstances aren’t creating your feelings after all.

Just like the baby, you realize that you are the source of all of that “noise” and just by realizing that, it changes a bit.

When you see that your own thinking is the creating your every experience, your mind naturally slows down a bit. You’re no longer a victim of circumstance. Hope returns…

…all by looking back at yourself as the one true source of every mood, emotion, or experience you have ever felt.

Your Best Thinking Got You Here

October 2, 2014

There is a popular saying in addiction recovery. Your best thinking got you here. You did what you did …you’re always doing what you’re doing…because it seemed like the thing to do in that moment. Your best thinking got you here. That doesn’t mean part of you didn’t know there was another way. When you […]

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Stop Trying to be Better and just BE, better.

September 25, 2014

When I stopped “working on myself” and put an end to the all-consuming quest to be better than I already was, life became infinitely nicer.  I used to believe I had a problem: life wasn’t always wonderful. Making myself a more self-actualized, better person looked like the obvious solution. Turns out, all of that supposed […]

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The Reason You Aren’t More Consistent

September 18, 2014

It’s an interesting idea we humans have…this idea that we’re supposed to be consistent.  We intuitively know that our state of mind is always fluctuating, but we want those fluctuations to be subtle, like the adjustments you might make to your steering wheel.  Bigger swings are usually met with concern that sounds something like, “I’m […]

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Insight #3: It’s All Temporary

September 15, 2014

Here’s the third video in the 3 part video series I put together to talk more about the Being Human Retreat next month. My kids wanted to be in on this one. As I say at the end, whether you join us for the retreat or not, I will do anything I can to help […]

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A New Way to View Your Recurring Problems

September 11, 2014

I have a friend — let’s call her Sarah — who has been having the same argument with her husband for 20 years.   She and her husband talk about it regularly. She and I talk about it regularly. The three of us have even talked about it. They really want this argument to stop. […]

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Taking another Look at Traditional Psychology and Mental Health

September 4, 2014

I recently taught a class for En*theos Academy about taking a fresh look at what we think we know about mental health and traditional psychology.  The 10 Big Ideas below are a summary of the talking points for that class. (If you’re interested in the other classes I’ve taught there, you can check out How […]

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Insight #2: It’s All Thought

August 28, 2014

Another big insight that changed everything (the first one is here): It’s All Thought. Like A–L–L of it. That was the part that made a difference. Everyone knows that thought affects our experience. But that thought is the only thing we ever can experience…that’s a bit different. I also talk a bit more about the format […]

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What is Said vs. What is Heard

August 21, 2014

People say what they say.  We hear what we hear. What is said and what is heard are usually two very different things. Here’s how it might go: Jack is telling Jill what he wants for dinner. Maybe Jack says, “Lasagna sounds good.” Maybe Jill hears, ”Make me lasagna.” Maybe Jack says, “Your lasagna was […]

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