Weekly insights on peace of mind, clarity, & connection (plus, an audio surprise!) delivered to your inbox.

You are innately well - you always have been and always will be. If you're not experiencing wellness, you are innocently lost in a thick fog of thought. I can help you cut through the fog to reconnect with the peace of mind, clarity and confidence that are already within you.

I help women suffering from bulimia and binge eating disorder, using an amazingly effective, easy, brilliant new brain-based approach. You don't have to suffer any longer.

How It Looked Then clean slate

Fourteen years ago I found myself with a diagnosis: panic disorder.

I was having up to 25 panic attacks a day.  Many days, I spent more time in a state of acute anxiety than not.

The thing about diagnoses is that they suggest a whole bunch of stuff that may or may not actually be true for you in any given moment. You get a diagnosis, Google it, and suddenly you have 10 new symptoms. Suddenly you have a prognosis and your future feels a bit less free and uncertain than it used to.

Diagnoses seem stable because we’re told that they are. They look like real, living constructs with highly reliable symptoms, outcomes, and assumptions.

My well-trained, well-meaning therapists told me that I’d probably always have problems with anxiety. My professional prognosis was: “We have some hope that the panic attacks will subside, but you’ll have to find ways to cope with your anxiety forever”.

I believed that because I didn’t know better. 

With my “highly anxious person” title, all sorts of memories flooded to mind. I remembered the twitches that started twenty years prior, when my parents got divorced. A-ha! Proof that I had an anxious predisposition, even back then!

I remembered how I’d feel instantly sick when my mom brought a new boyfriend to the house. Those must have been early panic attacks! And how—when she was out– I would stay up all night worrying that she had been in some kind of accident, wondering which nutty relative my sister and I would end up living with.

As soon as the “anxious person” label was in place, I found a ton of evidence to support it. I called it “connecting the dots” back then, because when you’re pretty sure that your label is accurate the past looks like a sea of confirming evidence.

It was all very innocent. I was innocent, my therapists were innocent, the DSM-IV (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual that psychologists use to diagnosis people) was innocent.

But we were all misinformed. There is a completely different truth that I simply wasn’t aware of at that time. Had I known what I know now, things would have been very different.

How it Looks Now

We are fluid, always changing spiritual beings living a human, thought-created experience.

The boundaries, labels, and traits that we innocently attach to ourselves and carry around with us are nowhere near as fixed as we believe they are.

The truth is, what we feel and experience is only what is on our mind in that very moment. After that—in each and every new moment—the slate clears.

You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you feel good…until you remember that you have problems? You remember last night’s fight, or yesterday’s binge, or that you don’t like your job.

That clear, peaceful feeling you wake up with is YOU. That is home base. It’s your natural, default state.

Then you innocently drag old thought in, covering up that peace of mind with memories of what already happened or projections of what is yet to come.

We have peace available to us in any moment but we cover it up with thought and mistake that personal thought for who we are.

I did that every day with my panic “disorder”. I woke up feeling fine, reminded myself that I was sick, and then wondered why I felt sick.

I’d feel a little natural-and-totally-harmless-nervousness and tell myself it was the beginning of a horrible panic attack. Then I wondered why I kept having panic attacks.

I’d be at peace, enjoying a much deserved break from anxiety, only to drag myself back to reality. Except the “reality” I dragged myself back to was not reality at all. It was only my thinking about what I thought my reality was.

I had it all backwards.  My state of mind was being constantly renewed, fresh in each moment. But because I carried by past, my diagnosis, and what I thought I knew about myself with me all the time, I never got to enjoy that clean slate.

For what it’s worth, my therapists were wrong. I have nothing to cope with today because I see now that anxiety is nothing more than anxious thought that flows freely.

It’s not that I don’t sometimes feel anxious; it’s that I don’t worry about it when I do so it passes quickly, the way it is meant to. And because I know about the innate mental health that lies beneath thought, I can easily relax into it.

You are far less stable than you think you are, and that’s a very good thing. What you think about yourself and your condition is only what you think. Loosen your grip on those beliefs and truly, anything is possible.

No Need to Fix Everything

by Amy on October 23, 2014

This article is by Judy Sedgeman. Please visit her site to read the rest…it is so worth the click over there. I know you’re going to love it too. 

Lately I’ve talked with several clients who are sure that “fixing” something in their circumstances will bring Fixing thingthem happiness.

One is determined to find a job in a bigger city, where she thinks it will be “more fun” to live. One is trying to find a new set of room-mates and a new apartment because she thinks she needs to be with people who are nicer to her to be comfortable at home. Another is worried about the danger of living within 100 miles of a major US military installation and wants to move with her children to the wilderness because she thinks that’s the only way to be safe from terror.  Another is trying to change schools because he thinks campus life at his college is dumb and boring. You get the idea. If I can just change this or that thing in my life, then I’ll be happy.

It doesn’t work that way. Or, in the words of one of my early mentors in the Three Principles, “No matter where you go or what you do, you take your head with you.”

Read the rest on Judy’s blog…

Upcoming!

October 22, 2014

I hope you’re having a great October! I wanted to mention a few of the things you might be interested in, taking place in the near future:   Beginning October 29 (running for 3 consecutive Wednesdays): The Art of Being Human: Living with more Joy, Ease, and Meaning—3 week course ($57). In this three week […]

Read the full article →

The Perfect House (Which Rhymes with Spouse): A Poem by Sue Pettit

October 16, 2014

This poem was written by Sue Pettit and can be found in her beautiful little book of poetry called Coming Home. It is a perfect illustration of the simple truth that the only thing we’re ever experiencing is our own state of mind.   I’d been hunting for a house all day and nothing seemed quite right. […]

Read the full article →

The Trick you Fall for Every day of your Life

October 9, 2014

Imagine that you wrote yourself a really mean letter, detailing all of your flaws and faults.  You put the letter in the mail, addressed to yourself.  A couple days later, it arrives in your mailbox. You read the letter. While it probably doesn’t feel good—it might bring back the shame and judgment you were feeling […]

Read the full article →

Your Best Thinking Got You Here

October 2, 2014

There is a popular saying in addiction recovery. Your best thinking got you here. You did what you did …you’re always doing what you’re doing…because it seemed like the thing to do in that moment. Your best thinking got you here. That doesn’t mean part of you didn’t know there was another way. When you […]

Read the full article →

Stop Trying to be Better and just BE, better.

September 25, 2014

When I stopped “working on myself” and put an end to the all-consuming quest to be better than I already was, life became infinitely nicer.  I used to believe I had a problem: life wasn’t always wonderful. Making myself a more self-actualized, better person looked like the obvious solution. Turns out, all of that supposed […]

Read the full article →

The Reason You Aren’t More Consistent

September 18, 2014

It’s an interesting idea we humans have…this idea that we’re supposed to be consistent.  We intuitively know that our state of mind is always fluctuating, but we want those fluctuations to be subtle, like the adjustments you might make to your steering wheel.  Bigger swings are usually met with concern that sounds something like, “I’m […]

Read the full article →

Insight #3: It’s All Temporary

September 15, 2014

Here’s the third video in the 3 part video series I put together to talk more about the Being Human Retreat next month. My kids wanted to be in on this one. As I say at the end, whether you join us for the retreat or not, I will do anything I can to help […]

Read the full article →

A New Way to View Your Recurring Problems

September 11, 2014

I have a friend — let’s call her Sarah — who has been having the same argument with her husband for 20 years.   She and her husband talk about it regularly. She and I talk about it regularly. The three of us have even talked about it. They really want this argument to stop. […]

Read the full article →