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You are innately well - you always have been and always will be. If you're not experiencing wellness, you are innocently lost in a thick fog of thought. I can help you cut through the fog to reconnect with the peace of mind, clarity and confidence that are already within you.

I help women suffering from bulimia and binge eating disorder, using an amazingly effective, easy, brilliant new brain-based approach. You don't have to suffer any longer.

Where Advice Falls Short

by Amy on July 3, 2014

Have you ever wondered why we’re so set on taking advice from others?  bad advice

When we ask someone else what they think or what they would do, we get their wisdom, their perspective, and a plan of action that would work for them.

We do not always get wisdom, perspective, or a plan of action that would work for us.

For example, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard advice on how to organize your day to ensure more uninterrupted creative time. It sounds something like: “Do it first thing in the morning. Write, create, etc. first thing in the morning while your mind is clear, before you even think about other tasks.”

It’s kind of hard to refute that. It has some definite face validity and is reasonably logical, but there is one big problem. It wouldn’t work for me in a million years.

I’m sure it’s extremely helpful advice for the person who gave it. It has probably saved them tons of wasted time and led to hours of creativity. And I’m sure it’s done the same for people who are in a similar state of mind or who are similar in some other way to the advice-giver.

But it could not be less helpful to me, and to the oodles of people like me in those respects. What works like a charm for me is taking care of routine business first and creating from a clear space. Creating with a to-do list looming would be a nightmare.

And is this is always the way advice goes, isn’t it?

So rather than seeking outside counsel and hearing what works for someone else—and what might possibly work for you if you happen to be of a similar constitution—why not seek internal counsel a bit more?

Seeking internal counsel is what we do when we follow our own hunches.

From a clear mind, you get hunches. Inclinations toward action. Fresh ideas.

Those hunches, inclinations, and fresh ideas are tailor-made for you. They are yours. My inclinations would never nudge me toward writing before I’ve exercised and answered emails. That wouldn’t work for me. But my own wisdom shows me what would work for me, regardless of whether it’s what the experts say or what works for others.

Your inner wisdom works the same way. You get inclinations that are perfect for you. Share them if you want, but know that they are yours. They may not generalize.

Reporters hate this, by the way. I can’t tell you often a writer for such and such magazine calls and wants the 5 steps, 3 best practices, or 7 magic behaviors that will work for their readers.

When I tell them that the steps are essentially 1) get quiet and 2) do what you’re inclined to do, they say that’s not reader-friendly. Their readers want concrete direction.

But what they don’t see is just how much they are selling their readers short. They don’t see a fraction of the wisdom and potential that those readers have within them.

It’s like we all come equipped with our own personalized compass, and yet we keep looking at a universal atlas from the 1960s.

Advice can be great for helping people see new possibilities and hearing new perspectives. I don’t question that. But rather than relying on outside advice so much, I think we might all benefit from consulting ourselves first.

 

Problems Don’t Have Roots

by Amy on June 26, 2014

Problems don’t have roots. waves

They aren’t deep-seated.

Just the opposite is true, actually. Any and all problems you might have are—relatively speaking–quite shallow. They are right there on the surface, created by (and existing completely within) the current moment in which you experience them.

When the thought that brought those problems to the surface fades—as all thoughts do—the problem is gone.

I know it feels like problems are deep-seated, with roots firmly lodged in place. But that’s only the way it feels to us because of the way we’ve been thinking about it.

Most of us are misinformed—and we keep chatting with everyone around us, which doesn’t help the situation. We’ve picked up the inaccurate idea that our past somehow leaves a mark. That we are somehow shaped by our circumstances.

Again, it’s the opposite that’s more true. We shape our circumstances far more than we are shaped by them.

And the past wants to stay in the past. We drag the past (whether it’s 5 minutes or 50 years ago) around like a ball and chain and let it dent our blank slate. If your past is part of your life today, you are continually bringing it back to life in the current moment.

Not necessarily intentionally, but through the combination of your habitual thinking + the belief that the past leaves a mark.

Peace is what is deep-seated within all of us. Peace is our nature. It’s what we are underneath thought and discomfort and problems.

Peace and well-being are as deep as it gets. Everything else is superficial in comparison.

Just like the deepest part of the ocean is still, the deepest part of you is still. And just like the surface of the ocean is always in changing; fluctuating between a small degree of disturbance to a Category 5 hurricane, so is the surface of your mind.

Only the surface of your mind though. When the waves die down, you’re always brought back to relative calm.

So remember, your problems don’t have roots in the past. They can’t possibly. New thinking about the mind is revealing that traditional psychology was misinformed on that point.

The only roots you’ll find underneath the surface are those that peacefully connect us to all of life. Those run as deep as can be. 

A Super Entertaining Story about Silence and Peace

June 19, 2014

I’d really love it if you’d read this hilarious and entertaining article.     My friend Lisa wrote it about her year of silence. Her year of silence was a long time ago, but as you can imagine, spending a year in silence is kind of a big deal in one’s life. So it took […]

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Do You Think You’re in Denial?

June 12, 2014

The concept of denial is a somewhat unfortunate one. Not because people don’t sometimes push things they don’t want to face out of their awareness. They surely do.  But because we innocently use the concept of denial to make our mental health look like a problem. When you’re not suffering to the degree you think […]

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10 Big Ideas About Ending Habits and Addictions

June 5, 2014

Everyone I’ve ever met has had some habit or addiction they’d like to kick for good. And nearly everyone I’ve ever met has lots of opinions on how to do that.  The 10 big ideas that follow are adaptations from the latest cutting-edge neuroscience research and some very powerful spiritual principles. This is the approach that […]

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Why Your Problems Are not Nearly as Permanent as They Seem

May 29, 2014

“When we…go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.” ~Pam Vredevelt There is a way in which we tend to view issues in our lives that makes it seem like the issue is […]

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How even your Bad Habit and Addictions are Signs of your Mental Health

May 22, 2014

If you look, I bet you’ll see that practically everything humans do is an attempt to feel good. I view that as an unmistakable sign of our inclination toward mental health. We clearly have a bend toward thriving…what could be healthier than that? But just because everything we do seems like our best option for […]

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How to Float (A Song I want to Share with You)

May 15, 2014

One day several months ago, a woman named Jen reached out to me to let me know how much she loved Being Human.  She heard something really profound in the ideas in that book (ideas that I take no ownership of, by the way. They are universal principles, not my unique thoughts). Jen heard something […]

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Doing Nothing as a Problem Solving “Strategy”

May 8, 2014

It can be confusing to hear me say ‘do nothing’, or that ‘there is nothing to do’ with regard to many of the things we consider problems in our lives. When problems show up as things that need fixing, doing nothing can feel ineffective at best; like resignation or powerlessness at worst. When I talk […]

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Married with Luggage

May 7, 2014

My friends Betsy and Warren Talbot have written a new book about how they got their failing-fast marriage back on track. Not just  back on track, but seriously, positively, thriving.  They happened to sell all of the possessions and travel the world together in the process (but you certainly don’t have to do that part.) […]

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