Weekly wisdom about being human and living habit-free

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What it Means When Things Look Complicated

January 19, 2017

When anything in life looks incredibly complicated there is only one thing going on: you’re in your thinking, conceptual mind. You’re “in your head”, as they say. From our heads, we want to know how.  How is the biggy. We also want to know why, when and where. We want steps, plans, strategies and guarantees. That […]

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Why you Might Be About 5 Days Away from Giving Up on Change. And What to Do Instead.

January 12, 2017

I bet you’ve tried change the hard way. Pretty much everyone has.  The hard way is where you fall into one or more of these traps: You consider your habit or unwanted behavior a huge problem; it looks like a personality flaw, a weakness, or maybe even a disease. It hasn’t occurred to you that […]

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You Don’t Actually Have a Habit

January 5, 2017

You don’t actually “have” a habit.  There’s no stability there, so there’s nothing to have. There may be consistency. That’s the definition of a habit—something that habitually, consistently arises. But there is no stability. Your habit is a thought that arises within you. It is not yours. You don’t own it or have it and […]

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The Power of Staying Where You Are

December 22, 2016

There is nothing in the world that can’t be worked out by taking things one…moment…at…a…time.  There are no unanswerable questions and no unsolvable problems. There is no angst or anxiety. All is ridiculously well when you simply Stay Here and do what occurs to you in this very moment. It doesn’t have to be right […]

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You Don’t Have to Fix the Past in Order to Have a New Future

December 15, 2016

The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron My family recently drove from Michigan to North Carolina—twenty hours roundtrip. To entertain themselves, my five-year-old daughter Willow taught my three-year-old son Miller to play rock-paper-scissors in the backseat. Miller learned the hand signals and got the overall concept pretty […]

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Knowing Where to Look is the Only Thing You Ever Need

December 8, 2016

Do me a favor. Open both of your hands, palms up.  You have an empty left palm facing up, and an empty right palm facing up. Imagine that your left hand represents what you feel and experience.  In that hand is feelings of happy, scared, excited or nervous. In that hand is experiences of hunger, […]

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Finding A Soft Place to Rest

December 1, 2016

This article was originally published in July 2016. There’s an inner churning that happens.  Or a circling, perhaps. Like a dog circling the rug, looking for a soft place to rest. That circling is what happens when a mind is disturbed. I don’t mean disturbed in any sort of stable or unhealthy way. Disturbed is a temporary […]

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Thanksgiving is not Just a Day or an Activity. It’s Who You Are

November 24, 2016

Gratitude and Giving Thanks can be something you do. They can be a verb, something you generate or look for. But did you know that they are also who and what you are? They are you, underneath the surface stuff thoughts and feelings. They are there for us to feel in any moment. You can be […]

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Dysfunctional Family Bingo: A Conversation about Expectations, Compassion, and Family

November 17, 2016

In honor of US Thanksgiving next week and upcoming holidays worldwide, I’m excited to (re)-share the game of Dysfunctional Family Bingo with you. I first learned about DFB from Martha Beck (who heard about it somewhere herself) almost 10 years ago and I’ve shared it many, many times around the holidays. The reason I keep sharing is that people […]

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Playing the Game: A short story about Willow and Buddha

November 10, 2016

While I was at the Three Principles Global Community conference last week, and really kind woman stopped me in the lobby. She told me that she loved the story below so much that she was going to include it in her holiday cards this year. Really?! Well, that’s pretty awesome. I told Willow, the star of […]

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