From the category archives:

Patterns

The Woman Who Makes Me Want a Shower

November 17, 2010

Think about the people who trigger you most: your mom, the nosy neighbor, that lady in the cubicle next to you who shops online and plays Farmville all day as if no one’s on to her. Think about the feeling you get amidst these triggery people—repulsion is the most common. A physical reaction that makes [...]

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The Small Stuff of Happiness

November 13, 2010

Think about the Little Things that contribute most to your wellbeing and happiness. They’re little, yes, but this is big. Although I like to get all deep and write about profound concepts like knowing you’re good enough, accepting reality, not complaining, self-love, being present and mindful…the truth is, real day-to-day happiness is often in the [...]

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Projection. And Parenting.

September 27, 2010

Projection is fascinating, isn’t it? When I looked up the definition of projection I saw a lot of stuff related to television screens. So I’ll clarify—as if it’s necessary in this blog—that I mean psychological projection. You know, where you attribute your feelings or thoughts to someone else. You assume they think and feel the [...]

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Sitting with Negative Emotion

September 17, 2010

I feel something quite a bit. I call it bored, although I know that’s not really it. Restless, maybe. But it feels worse than restless. Uncomfortable in my own skin. Like it’s dangerous or just really unpleasant to Be Me in that moment. It’s a restlessness that makes me want to move, be busy, disassociate, [...]

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How do you win?

September 12, 2010

Every family has a way of keeping score. Often unspoken—but sometimes blatantly official—there are rules for what’s good and bad; what’s right and wrong. I call it The Family Game. Each family has their own game and they make up the rules for how you win. The rules are passed down from generation to generation. [...]

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More on Patterns…what I learned from the Horses

August 14, 2010
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What to do with your patterns

July 29, 2010

You’ve uncovered some of your patterns. Now what? Patterns, like fears, are kind of like zoo animals. They don’t respond well to taunting. And they didn’t do anything wrong, so there’s no reason to be mean to them, anyway. Please don’t use them to beat yourself up and don’t get mad at them or blame [...]

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How you do Anything is how you do Everything

July 26, 2010

I’ve been drawn to this expression for a while, not really understanding it intellectually but totally getting it on some intuitive level. It felt right on, even though I didn’t understand what it meant. Does it do anything for you? It’s all about patterns. For example, how do you react when you’re confronted? Do you [...]

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What a mess!

June 27, 2010

I have serious issues with clutter. I hate it; makes me feel icky. When I’m visiting someone who has a lot of stuff—and that stuff is out where I have to see it—I get claustrophobic and start looking for the door. I’m talking about physical stuff, like those old plastic cups that came from the gas [...]

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Check Your Head

May 26, 2010

Every morning during my workout, my mind goes to the same place. Unfortunately, it’s not a place I’m excited about. My morning routine triggers thoughts about an unpleasant situation with a family member. The first thought of this situation usually strikes when I’m brushing my teeth, but I’m able to refocus my thoughts and set [...]

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