From the category archives:

Taking Action

Relationship 911 Tip #2: How to ask for what you want

May 17, 2012

I’m back with another tip from Relationship 911. (If you missed 911 Tip #1 Give what you want to Get, check it out). You know you can’t change people. If you could, everyone around you would be exactly the way you want them to be and your relationships would all be simple and perfect.  I’m [...]

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The Importance of an Empty Future

April 12, 2012

What’s in your future? Hopefully, not much. When your future is empty—as in wide open, blue ocean, blank slate—you’re sitting pretty to put whatever you want there. Most of us do not have an empty future. Most of us have a jam-packed future. Do you know what it’s full of? The past. We drag all [...]

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Are you Handing it Over on a Silver Platter?

April 5, 2012

In her book Life is a Verb, Patti Digh says, “We give up our power to the very people who took it from us in the first place.”  Right on, sister. If you’re upset with Them about what They did, didn’t do, or should have done, you’re giving Them a lot of power, aren’t you? [...]

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Overcoming Perfectionism: Perfect or F*&k It

March 1, 2012

This is a repost of a video blog I filmed back in November of 2010. That’s old. And I filmed it in my car, waiting to go into the dentist. But that imperfect style is the point, as  you’ll see… Here’s a purposely imperfect post dedicated to my awesome client whose family story is “Perfect or [...]

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How big is your universe?

February 16, 2012

For sake of argument, let’s say you want a convertible. What you really want is to get more sun and somewhere along the way you decided a great way to get more sun would be to drive a convertible. As soon as you made that link, your mind starting tuning into all things convertible and [...]

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Worst Case, Best Case, Doing Nothing and Having a Plan

November 17, 2011

I was recently listening to a smart guy talking about how we get paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. He was teaching how to use fear and uncertainty to clarify what we want and move forward. For example, let’s say your inner voice is nudging you toward leaving your current partner but you’re really unsure. You [...]

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You’re doing exactly what you want to do

July 21, 2011

I hear a lot of people say that they want to do things they’re not doing. I say they don’t really want to do those things. They only think they want to. Like, you might say, “I’d really want to write a book” or “I’d love to be a long-distance runner” but if you don’t [...]

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stuck, STUCK, Stuck

July 14, 2011

I can’t tell you how many people tell me each week they’re stuck. It’s probably the most common complaint I hear. Although I know it’s annoying, I first clarify that although they might feel stuck, they are not actually stuck. Unless you sat on spilled super glue or stepped into quicksand, you’re not really. Everything [...]

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Releasing it? Or Avoiding it?

June 6, 2011

My client Patty says she’s afraid of conflict. She often runs away and avoids speaking up in the hopes that her problems go away on their own. She doesn’t call it running away though. She calls it turning the other cheek. She tells me she’s being Enlightened. I correct her. Don’t lie to yourself, Patty. [...]

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Moving forward by walking away

May 6, 2011

At one point in my life I moved a lot. Without fail, a couple weeks before my moving date I’d meet a great guy who was firmly planted in the city I was moving away from. Or I’d meet some fun new friends, or discover a hidden gem of a restaurant I never knew about [...]

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