“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” –Sydney Banks
Everyone has habits of some sort. Those things we feel driven to do, check, drink, eat, or obsess about in order to feel better in the moment. Those things about which we totally know better, but we don’t necessarily do better.
It’s easy to curse our habits; to view them as personal flaws or as huge problems. Of course, they do create problems for us. But your habits are actually the solution, not the problem.
Your habits are your best attempt to feel better in the moment.
If Habits aren’t the Problem, What is?
In a nutshell, the problem is that we misunderstand our human experience.
We confuse what we feel with what and who we are.
We view our thoughts and the feelings they bring as personal, meaningful, and dangerous. We come to fear our experience and we understandably resist it.
Because we view it as so important, we keep staring at it, keeping it alive. And then we wonder why it doesn’t go away.
We don’t realize that our experience is made of thought that is always changing, moving through and past us. We act on our fleeting thoughts, feelings and urges as if we have to—as if we have no choice.
You always have a choice. Your experience isn’t as permanent or true as it appears. Your brain may have a habit—it likes to generate the same thoughts, urges, or worries day in and day out. But your brain is just a machine in your head.
Your brain has a habit, but you don’t. You are perfectly healthy and habit-free.
You do what you do because it makes sense on some level. As we look at the truth about who you really are and how your habit works, your level of understanding rises and your habit falls away.
Through a series of conversations, you come to see things more accurately. The misunderstandings that we all have about what it means to be human begin to clear up.
You gain a simple, profound understanding of human life that applies to—and can change—everything. This common sense understanding goes far beyond habits and addictions. It has the power to improve your entire experience of life.
You experience freedom, not just sobriety or abstinence. You feel more free in all of life. You still get to be human with ups and downs and challenges and victories—but you understand it all differently. You’re still on the roller coaster of life, but you feel much safer because you know how this ride works.
I see incredible results with this approach. It has changed my life and I see it change the lives of my clients every day.