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Success is sooo much more likely than failure

September 15, 2011

You might not believe me at first but I swear it’s the truth…. We’re infinitely more likely to succeed in life than to fail.  When you really think about it, much more goes right than wrong. Even on your worst day ever. This doesn’t feel true because—in a totally protective and adaptive way—we’re inclined to [...]

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No one is Paying Attention to You

December 17, 2010

People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think they do. It’s a law of the universe. Okay, maybe not of the universe, but it is a law of human psychology. It’s called the Spotlight Effect in social psychology. There’s a study where college students are asked to do something super embarrasing…wear a Barry Manilow t-shirt [...]

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Projection. And Parenting.

September 27, 2010

Projection is fascinating, isn’t it? When I looked up the definition of projection I saw a lot of stuff related to television screens. So I’ll clarify—as if it’s necessary in this blog—that I mean psychological projection. You know, where you attribute your feelings or thoughts to someone else. You assume they think and feel the [...]

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What to do with your patterns

July 29, 2010

You’ve uncovered some of your patterns. Now what? Patterns, like fears, are kind of like zoo animals. They don’t respond well to taunting. And they didn’t do anything wrong, so there’s no reason to be mean to them, anyway. Please don’t use them to beat yourself up and don’t get mad at them or blame [...]

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How you do Anything is how you do Everything

July 26, 2010

I’ve been drawn to this expression for a while, not really understanding it intellectually but totally getting it on some intuitive level. It felt right on, even though I didn’t understand what it meant. Does it do anything for you? It’s all about patterns. For example, how do you react when you’re confronted? Do you [...]

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