Author of the bestselling The Little Book of Big Change:
The No-Willpower Approach to Break Any Habit
If you’re serious about trying to kick the habits or addictions in your life OR you’re trying to free yourself from a cycle of worry or anxious overthinking…
…but you’ve already tried every program you can find online and ordered every book that Amazon recommends.
…and you’ve already spent more money than you’d care to admit all in an effort to overcome those habits. When you add it all up, you might have already spent 4-figures… maybe 5-figures.
I know that pain. I know the hopelessness that sneaks into your psyche when you’ve tried it all and nothing sticks. I know the frustration of thinking, “I’m a smart, resourceful person… so why can’t I figure this out?”
I remember being stuck in habits and anxiety that left me feeling powerless. And yet, even though nothing has worked for the long-term for you YET, you still know that if you keep reaching for that habit-free SUCCESS story… you’ll find it! Right?!?
If that’s even moderately true for you, then this PDF may be the most life-changing document you’ll ever read.
Traditional psychology and popular self-help strategies (the ones you’ve already tried but never worked) actually point people toward an outdated understanding of how humans work. They point us towards change methods that miss the mark and rarely lead to long-term change.
In other words, if you’ve tried everything but nothing has worked… I want you to know that it’s NOT your fault. None of your past failures has anything to do with you.
You’ve simply received outdated information about who you are, how your mind works, and how change happens. We all have!
But… I also want you to know that there’s enormous hope once you’re pointed toward an accurate and richer understanding of humans and their habits.
Over the following pages, we’re going to look at the reasons why everything you’ve tried hasn’t worked. And then I want to show you how to begin to look at habit-change in a way that actually does work… for the long-term!
Sound good? Let’s get started…
The things people have told you to do to change don’t actually lead to lasting change (Seriously?!)
I bet you’ve tried some – if not all – of these things in order to find freedom from your habit:
• Mustering up as much discipline and willpower as humanly possible (including having an unwavering focus and iron-clad resolve)
• Sticking to a behavioral plan for as long as humanly possible (and eliminating “triggers” or making other changes to your environment)
• Changing your mindset (or even starting a regular practice of meditation or mindfulness)
Am I right?
You’ve tried all the right plans, apps, practices, diets, and programs.
But no matter what you tried (or how much you’ve spent), the change didn’t stick for very long.
Because behavioral plans, mindsets, and hard work are NOT where deep, sustainable change comes from.
(Read that sentence again if you need to!)
Take willpower for example.
Willpower is the opposite of deep or lasting – it’s something that, by definition, is an exhaustible resource. We use it for a short period of time (when we have the energy to call upon it), and then it runs out.
But whatever you try, whether it’s about your willpower or your mindset or any other external approach… they’re all superficial. They are actions, activities, or things we do or use.
When you’re caught up in some habitual thought or behavior, do you really have the resources, motivation, or ability to do or add more?
Consider an iceberg.
Only about 10% of this massive block of ice is visible above the water.
When we’re trying to change our habits by using our own strength or mindset, it’s the equivalent of chipping
at the tip of the iceberg with a chisel. If the iceberg is your habit or anxiety and you want it gone… you go to work.
You make the plan.
You pull out all the stops.
But no matter how much determination you muster, you’re still focusing solely on the part you can see! No wonder your habit hasn’t budged!
You’re working yourself to the bone doing the things that traditional psychology and self-help have told you to do. But they were pointing you toward surface-level, outdated paradigms that can’t lead to deep, lasting change.
All that work and the only things you have to show for it are exhaustion, frustration, and more hopelessness.
You’ve been focusing on what’s visible instead of what’s not visible (Of course you have!)
So, if not from willpower or mindset, where does deep, lasting freedom from habits, addiction, and anxiety come from?
Simply put, it comes from seeing yourself and your habits in a new way. It comes from new insights into who you are.
In our iceberg metaphor, insight is the equivalent of raising the temperature of the ocean by a fraction of a degree. When the water temperature rises (even a tiny bit), the part of the iceberg that’s not visible… begins to melt
When your understanding of yourself and your habits rises – when your consciousness rises – the obstacles that feel so massive and stable begin to melt away. You quite literally begin to see things in a new way that leads to natural, effortless change.
When you adjust your understanding of yourself, you change the foundation for everything.
The base of the iceberg shifts… and the behaviors and experiences that make up the tip of the iceberg fall by the wayside.
(I know it’s a little complex right now, but you have to admit that going to the foundation makes more sense than chiseling your way from the top, down. Don’t you think?)
With everything that you’ve tried, you’ve been chipping away at the part of your habit that is visible… but that means you’ve missed the 90% that holds it up.
You’ve been so busy with your willpower and plans of action that you – innocently – have never stopped to wonder: What’s beneath this thing?
But again, I don’t want you to blame yourself.
You’ve simply been relying on what you’ve been taught. And you’ve been taught the wrong paradigm. Besides, on the surface, it makes sense to focus on the outward, tip-of-the-iceberg habits or addictions.
It’s easiest (and most obvious) to start with what we can see!
But now you know better. Now you know that it’s time to look deeper.
It’s time to move towards what’s beneath the surface… towards the invisible.
You are habit-free already and your habitual behavior is not a problem you have to solve (Say what?!?)
Okay, so I need to put in a caveat here. I only have room in this PDF to point you in a better direction. This is just a beginning of a deep, unbelievably profound topic.
But here’s the simple truth: your habits (and, in a broader sense, all human suffering) is based around some very innocent misunderstandings that we carry with us every day:
• misunderstanding who we really are as human beings, and
• misunderstanding how the human experience really works
Once those misunderstandings are taken out of the way, then you will begin to realize that YOU – the real, essential you – don’t have addictions or anxiety. You’re the same as you’ve always been… unchangeable and untouchable by the experiences around you.
(I hear you… you’re probably already arguing with me about how much you ate, smoked, spent, or worried yesterday. Don’t worry… we’ll get there!)
All of this begs the question – if you’re so peaceful and habit-free by default, why are you still acting the way you do? And struggling the way you are?
Each and every one of us, when we experience discomfort or pain, we get an urge to numb that feeling… and then we suddenly think that our habit-based decision defines who we are.
We call it “ours” or “us”. I am an addict, you say. I have anxiety, you say.
But that’s not accurate.
You – the essence of the real you – are the space before all that “stuff”. Those thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you use to numb discomforts aren’t you or yours at all. They are just experiences passing through.
Are you ready for the best part?
There is nothing you need to do.
You can put the chisel down.
You don’t need to use willpower to overcome your habits or your thoughts. Those feelings or urges are already on their way
out by the time you notice them. You don’t need to add nicer thoughts or mindsets to replace the current ones.
After all, why would you… when by definition thoughts and feelings are fleeting, constantly flowing through you, naturally updated and replaced by new thoughts and feelings?
That means you don’t need to:
• Meditate every day
• Remove all the external triggers from your home or office
• Have the right “plan”
• Or even add more “healthy habits” into your life
None of those things cause your habit… so none of those will end it!
The only thing that causes your habit is innocently getting caught up in the fleeting, impersonal thoughts, feelings, and urges that move through you.
As you rest in who you really are, the habit-free, healthy you beneath all that moving, changing experience… you’ll feel caught up in your experience far less. You’ll feel a space between you and the stuff.
SEE-CHANGE (or Sea-Change, to run this metaphor to the ground)
Can you begin to get a sense – even the tiniest, foggiest idea – of who you are and what your habits are truly made of?
I hope so.
If you can even sort-of-maybe-vaguely sense what I’m pointing you toward, then you’re on the right track. (And if not, you’ll get there!)
You’re pointed in the right direction now.
As you begin to consider these truths, your insights will continue to come. You will realize things that will be helpful and important for you. Not facts… but personal realizations.
That’s how it goes when you’re looking toward the truth – toward the foundation – instead of trying in vain to chisel away at the tip of the iceberg.
You really will begin to see that you truly are habit-free right this very moment and that what you’ve innocently labeled as “your” habit, addiction, or issue is not you or yours at all!
It’s simply the human experience moving through, correcting itself. The less you do to get in the way, the better. It doesn’t need a fix or a solution because it’s not a problem… it’s simply been misunderstood.
Ready for more? Check out The Little School of Big Change!
The Little School of Big Change is a guided, 6-week program designed to help you overcome anxiety and unwanted habits without needing to rely on willpower or self-discipline.
LSBC shares a groundbreaking new paradigm in mental health that has helped hundreds of thousands of people around the world to tap into their natural health and resilience. The school helps you see yourself and your psychology in a radically new way—a way that leads to freedom from what holds you back. Save your seat for The Little School of Big Change to begin your journey to freedom from unwanted habits, anxiety and so much more.
Class starts September 11th. The last day to enroll is September 14th at 10 pm Eastern!