What Is Codependency? – What is a Codependent Relationship?

Codependency involves an excessive, all-consuming dependence on a relationship. Codependent relationships are ones in which the codependent person goes to extremes to support or change the other person. They set aside their own emotions or desires to keep the other person happy and to protect the relationship at all costs.

There is no universal definition of what codependency is, but common markers of codependency include extreme fear of the relationship ending, compulsive concern with the other person, self-doubt, and not having a sense of self outside the relationship.

Any relationship–be it a romantic relationship, family relationship, or friendship– can be a codependent relationship.

What You Might Be Experiencing – Symptoms of Codependency

Some common signs of codependency or codependent relationships are: 

    • Fear of abandonment
    • Extreme preoccupation with the relationship
    • Lack of a sense of self outside the relationship
    • Low self-esteem or self-doubt
    • Anxiety or insecurity
    • Indecision
    • Resentment
Codependency

What You Might Be Experiencing – Symptoms of Codependency

Some common signs of codependency or codependent relationships are: 

    • Fear of abandonment
    • Extreme preoccupation with the relationship
    • Lack of a sense of self outside the relationship
    • Low self-esteem or self-doubt
    • Anxiety or insecurity
    • Indecision
    • Resentment

You Are Not Alone

Codependency is incredibly common, with some estimates as high as nearly 50% of the population in the United States. Codependency is common worldwide and can be present in people of any demographic background, although early trauma or unstable relationships with early caregivers is common in most codependency. Substance abuse or addiction are also common, but not necessary, features of codependent relationships.

Men and women struggle with codependency, although it may show up slightly more for women than for men.

Codependency is not about love or simply supporting one’s partner; it’s more of an obsessive focus on the relationship or the other person, and often an extreme fear of the relationship ending.

Codependency
Treatment of Codependency

What Can I Do About It? – Recovering from Codependency

Traditional treatment for codependency most often includes psychotherapy or support groups. However, traditional treatment for codependency is not nearly as effective as we’d wish it to be.

Thankfully, there are newer, less traditional approaches that are incredibly effective. The No-Willpower Approach that I outline in my bestselling book, The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking Any Habit has helped countless people find lasting freedom from codependency and other relationship issues.

The No-Willpower Approach is an insight-based approach that helps you see yourself and your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a radically new way.

Codependency Is A Changeable Habit

Although many people struggle with codependency, this habit is very changeable. You do not need to “cope” with, or “manage” codependency long-term. No matter how long or how often you’ve been caught up in codependent relationships or how many signs of codependency you experience, there is enormous hope for freedom from this habit.

Codependency is not about your fundamental nature or your relationship; it’s about a few simple misunderstandings about how our thoughts and feelings truly work. Freedom comes from the inside-out, from seeing yourself, your thoughts and feelings, and what codependency is in a brand new way.

Codependency Is A Changeable Habit

Hi, I’m Amy

I struggled with anxiety and habits for many years. I was told by many well-meaning professionals that I would likely struggle with this forever; that I could learn to cope, but that this habit might always come back when I was feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

Thankfully, nothing could be further from the truth today. I have been completely free of binge eating and anxiety for many years with no effort or coping necessary. In that time, I’ve shared what helped me find freedom with people all over the world with a variety of habits, including codependency, in my books, videos, online school, and my podcast, Changeable.

I’ve trained over 70 coaches to be experts in the no-willpower paradigm through my Change Coach Training Program. I’ve been a regularly featured expert on The Steve Harvey Show and Oprah.com, as well as in The Wall Street Journal and Self magazine.

Dr Amy Johnson

REAL PEOPLE, REAL CHANGE

What Can I Do To Change My Codependency Habit?

Free Insecurity Webinar
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Freedom from Codependency habit

See what codependent relationships are, how and why codependent habits begin, and how to find freedom from them.

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  • This is the perfect course for those struggling with codependent thoughts, feelings, and habits.
  • Learn about the simple misunderstandings that underlie codependency habits and the truth beyond those misunderstandings.
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A smiling man studying at a laptop
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The Little School of Big Change

About The Little School of Big Change

My bestselling book, The Little Book of Big Change, and my online school, The Little School of Big Change, have helped tens of thousands of people in 50+ countries find their own freedom from binge eating and other habits without therapy, revisiting the past, medication, or willpower.

The Little School of Big Change is a highly supportive 6-week course that shares a groundbreaking new paradigm in mental health that has helped hundreds of thousands of people around the world to tap into their natural health and resilience.

The school helps you see yourself and your psychology in a radically new way—a way that leads to freedom from what holds you back.

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