There Can’t Be A Habit (Or Any Problem) Without Resistance

Problems come from resistance. 

There will be feelings of anxiety, uneasiness, depression, fear, insecurity, shame. There may be many of them. This is the human experience. 

These feelings can’t be a problem, they can’t cause problems, and they can’t even resemble problems when they are welcomed. 

Welcoming is the opposite of resistance and all problems come from resistance.

One of our LSBC grad community members who has struggled with a variety of addictions throughout her life said this of her various habits: 

“All of this activity was an attempt to fix the problem that I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin, I don’t understand what this life is about, I don’t understand the path of happiness.”

This is exactly right. Do you always feel comfortable in your skin? Have you always?

Do you understand what life is about and you have the whole way through?

Do you understand the path to happiness and you’ve followed it consistently? 

These feelings are the human psychological condition, experienced in slightly different ways by different people at different times. Attempts to cope with these feelings vary from person to person from moment to moment, looking like everything from scrolling through Instagram yet again, to staying quiet, to lashing out, to food, drugs, and alcohol. 

There is no escaping these sorts of thoughts and feelings. They are part of being a human with a psyche. We’re all in this together. 

They aren’t problems in and of themselves. It’s only when we think we shouldn’t feel this way, we’re alone in how we feel, we can’t handle it, and on and on….that we resist. 

Resisting thoughts and feelings that appear personally meaningful is behind all habits and addictions, and any other psychological issue we may be experiencing. 

I asked this woman to go straight to the source of the issue.

Feel uncomfortable in your skin. Go for it. Milk it. Welcome it. Play in it. Tell yourself it’s okay. Tell yourself you love feeling uncomfortable in your skin. Tell yourself you hate it. Let the old memories of how horrible it’s been arise and watch them like a movie. 

Feel completely lost and confused about life and happiness. Scream it from the rooftops. Claim it, milk it, look at it, welcome it. 

The energy that is broken up and released when we do this is enormous. It’s the energy of resistance and it feels incredible to finally feel it. It’s released when we do this. 

Without resistance, there are no problems to cope with.

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