Category: Inside-out

Subtraction, Not Addition

Continue to see thought for what it is. It’s the always-on narrator in your mind that is very opinionated and full of problems and solutions. But that narrator is not you and the narration is not the truth.  There is a healthy, happy, free space beyond the narration. There is an awareness or space within which

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We’ve Had It Backwards

Deep, lasting change happens when we see things in a brand new way.  As I wrote in The Little Book of Big Change, the kind of deep, lasting change we all want isn’t dependent on willpower, daily practices, or hard work.  It happens by insight. Insight, “a sight from within”, is simply a brand new way of

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The Quest To Feel Better

“Feelings don’t want to be healed; they want to be held.” —Jeff Foster “Be curious, not judgmental.” —Ted Lasso Last Thursday, a strong, somewhat nondescript feeling of “ick” pervaded my body. The feeling arose after receiving a comment that wasn’t overtly offensive, but was nonetheless taken as a “hit” to this well-formed ego of mine. The “ick” was

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Spirit + Science

When you combine the spiritual truth that you are perfectly and completely mentally healthy and habit-free (but for your temporary, habitual thinking) with the scientific finding that your habit is made up of thoughts that fade on their own, your habit begins to look far less powerful and stable than it has.When you consider the

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When You Feel Lost – Part Two

Last week I told you about the woman who said she was LOST while in the middle of a lot of big energy. You can read Part One here. “I’m lost” tells the story that she should feel some way other than she does. Something else should be happening. These feelings are wrong and unwelcome. What comes

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You Could Have Everything You Want Someday

A mind is habitually, universally dissatisfied. It’s dissatisfaction is about it, not about you. Part of its gig is to have nonstop conversations about more, better, could be, might be… A mind’s fundamental dissatisfaction is usually followed by ideas or strategies for how to be satisfied someday. Someday is the mind’s favorite promise. It complains about what’s

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Sliding Between Extremes

The old paradigm in mental health is zoomed in.It focuses on our separateness as individuals. It often looks at our mind’s stories in an analytical way, analyzing what we think and feel rather than seeing that we think and feel.It offers a slew of techniques and strategies designed to fix, change, and manipulate how we feel. It

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You Aren’t Your Thoughts, But You Also Are Your Thoughts

“You aren’t your thoughts” can be heard as permission to reject, bypass, or judge the thoughts, feelings, and inclinations that arise.“That’s lowly, fleeting psychology”, our mind wants to say in a judgmental way. “I’m not that”.And in a sense, you’re not that. But in another sense, you are.Talking only about how you aren’t your thoughts

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There Can’t Be A Habit (Or Any Problem) Without Resistance

Problems come from resistance. There will be feelings of anxiety, uneasiness, depression, fear, insecurity, shame. There may be many of them. This is the human experience. These feelings can’t be a problem, they can’t cause problems, and they can’t even resemble problems when they are welcomed. Welcoming is the opposite of resistance and all problems come from resistance.One

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Deserving and Earning

On a recent LSBC call, a woman realized she hadn’t bought clothes for her new job because she felt she hadn’t earned them. She hadn’t lost weight, so she didn’t deserve the new clothes. The realization hit her first, then spread throughout the 40 or so women on the call. It was met with a flurry of

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