Can I Just Be With This, Without the Need To Cope With, or Fix Anything?

Photograph of a mountain with forest and a lake in the foreground, and the mountain and forest's reflection in the lake.

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Suzie Yeulett


Over the Christmas holiday period, my husband was incredibly busy with end of year work, commuting into London early and getting home late.


My teen boys wanted to stay up late, because they were on a break from school and wanted to maximise the opportunity to chill out.


Several nights, I found myself feeling some tension between these two perspectives, with the boys still up and about and not being quiet (they’re teen boys!) and my husband trying to get some sleep. I asked myself one night if I could just be with it, without the need to cope with, or fix anything. I’ve reflected on this further since:


Can I just be with what is, with a mind that’s more of a blank slate and with freshly seeing eyes or perspective?


Can my attention rest on the neutral reality of what is, rather than chasing changing thoughts about how things should be different?


I know there’s a better chance of responding more peacefully from a place of love, rather than fear. If everything is as it should be – because it IS, is there anything to fix, or to change, or fear?


Can I come from a place of seeing the beauty in every new moment with awe and wonder, from a place of love and present stillness with what is?


The answer is that sometimes I can and often I can’t, but there’s a little spark of fleeting awareness at times that I can, if I slow down and respond, rather than react straight away.


Perhaps this little spark of awareness is enough to start us on the lighter path towards peace more often. We can’t change others, they have to want to change, or be open to a new perspective or mindset shift themselves (I’m reminded of this often as a Mum!)


Perhaps the best we can do is focus on ourselves, shifting our attention inwards where our only real power is and hoping our lightness or calmness helps others, if and when they’re ready to see it.


You can learn more about Suzie here:


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