Dr. Amy Johnson Blog’s

Inside-out

Brownie Troop 43487

It was maybe my most meaningful gig ever. Sharing ‘how we work’ with a troop of 9-year old Girl Scouts. I asked so many questions. What do they know about their thoughts, feelings, and why they do the things they do? Where do feelings come from? How do they know things? Not the things they […]

Misread Signs (It’s The Opposite of What You Think)

I knew someone with a very sensitive stomach. The tiniest bit of worry and she’d instantly feel sick. She cursed her stomach. Saw it as a weakness, a flaw. She wanted her stomach fixed. Her mind was full of potential ways I might help her toughen up her wimpy tummy. Could we train it to […]

Big Change this Year is About Seeing More, Not Doing More

It’s amazing how things change.  Thirteen years ago, I rang in 2006 with a group of friends in Chicago. We had tickets to an event that included a four course meal followed by a night of drinking and club-hopping. Early in the second course of our dinner, I started to feel sick. I managed to […]

There is Nothing Scary in the World (and There is No Such Thing as Limitation)

Do you want a foolproof test of how deeply you see how the human experience really works?  Notice your initial reaction to the title of this post. That’s your test. Did you think: “Way to point out the obvious, Amy. Duh.”? Is it crystal clear that there is nothing scary in the world and there […]

The Definitive Guide to Staying Stuck in a Habit

You’d like to be painfully stuck in a habit, addiction, or compulsion? Do you want change that feels like a tenuous, uphill battle? You’re in the right place! I’ve felt stuck in several of my own habits and I’ve talked with thousands of people who say they are stuck in a habit or addiction themselves. […]

We Can’t Possibly be Feeling the Effects of Life…Can we?

I spent a couple days last week with a nice man who is looking for a better way to feel better.  Alcohol, a plethora of pharmaceuticals, and some behavioral habits that jeopardize his health and relationships aren’t working anymore. He is ready for a better way. He was brand new to the understanding of health […]

You’re not the Boss of Me: How a very Basic Understanding of Your Brain (and What Powers Your Brain) Can Free you from Pretty Much Anything

The publisher of The Little Book of Big Change asked me to write something for their blog about the lower brain. I was a little hesitant. Not because an understanding of the brain isn’t super interesting. It is. And seeing how the brain works in a deeper, more insightful way–beyond the mechanics–can be incredibly freeing. […]

Good Ideas Are Shallow and Short-Lived Without a Framework

The world is full of good ideas and nice people who are happy to share them. Bumper sticker phrases. Instagram memes. Pop song refrains. There is only now. Let it go. You are perfect. Spend time in silence. It’s all in your head. Forgive and forget. Serve others. These good ideas might point out something […]

At ease or dis-ease? Here’s the one thing that’s always happening when life feels tough.

Life moves through you. It powers you.    Imagine a kaleidoscope sitting in a dark corner of a shelf. With no light moving through, it’s just a pile of plastic. Then someone picks it up, puts it to their eyes, and turns toward the window. Stuff! Shapes and colors are brought to life by the […]

Why Change Didn’t Stick

People I’m working with for the first time often wonder why they didn’t experience deep, lasting change in the past despite the fact that they did ‘all the right things’.  They talked to the right people about their problems. They paid the money and put in the time and effort. In the case of anxiety, […]

The Problem of the Day

I had a close friend in graduate school. I’ll call her Karen.   A few years before I met Karen, her mom died after a long illness. Because Karen was the oldest child (Karen’s parents were divorced), she was responsible for making some critical medical decisions on her mother’s behalf. She never knew exactly what […]

Why you Might Be About 5 Days Away from Giving Up on Change. And What to Do Instead.

I bet you’ve tried change the hard way. Pretty much everyone has.  The hard way is where you fall into one or more of these traps: You consider your habit or unwanted behavior a huge problem; it looks like a personality flaw, a weakness, or maybe even a disease. It hasn’t occurred to you that […]

Many Paths to One Inner Peace

I hear about a woman with a blog and a YouTube channel who started tracking her macronutrient intake (it’s okay, I had to google it too) and her binge eating habit went away. Four different clients in one week tell me they are now counting, analyzing and tracking every morsel of food that goes in […]

You + Your Machinery

I’m at a substance abuse treatment center this week, sharing a deeper understanding of habits, addiction, and mental health with their staff.  The unintentional theme of our talks so far has been about our “machinery” (i.e., our brain) versus what’s bigger than the machinery. See, machinery can be a bit wonky. Machinery can be a bit […]

[Video]: Why is my Friend (who has Stage 4 Cancer) More Peaceful Each Time I See Her!? A Striking Example of the Power of Understanding.

I’m always having conversations with people about the fact that we feel our own mental dialogue, and only our own mental dialogue, all day every day. Life is an inside-out experience, coming from within our own minds, not from the world around us or from the things happening to us. And I totally get that […]

You Have No Idea How Safe You Really Are: A Story about Buddha’s Fear of Fireworks

**This article was originally published July, 2014** Not unlike most dogs, my dog Buddha is petrified of fireworks.   Unfortunately for Buddha, our little corner of the world (maybe also not unlike your corner of the world) is positively cuckoo for fireworks. The past couple of weeks have been rough on her. (That’s her in the […]

What if Nothing You Ever Thought is the Truth?

Oh geez, here I go again telling you that your mind makes stuff up. But I want to take it a step further, because I really want you to grasp the enormity of this. What if everything you’ve ever thought–simply by virtue of it being a thought that passes through your mind–is biased and slanted? […]

Why You Need to Know that You are Always Already Home

We all have one singular motivation for everything we do in life: we want to feel at home.  There are a million ways you might express that one universal desire. You might say you want to feel like yourself, know your true self, be relaxed and on purpose in life… …you might say you want […]

Troubles? Or Simply Visitors?

One thing has been strikingly clear to me lately: We only have a problem when we think we do.  Our calling something—anything—a problem (or whatever words you use: this is wrong, this is hard, why is this happening? I don’t like this, it’s anxiety, it’s my habit) is the only thing that makes it a […]

Soften around the Hard Parts

Six years ago when I was preparing to give birth to Willow, I wanted to do things as naturally as possible.  And I was scared. I had heard mostly birthing horror stories from the women in my family, all focused on what could (and sometimes, did) go wrong.  None of them spoke about the miracle […]

The Monkey on Your Back

I’d love for you to join me for what promises to be an enlightening, candid conversation on Tuesday, March 15th about finding true freedom from habits and addiction. I’ll be chatting with success coach Steve Chandler. If you don’t know Steve, he’s the author of 30 books and his newest project, called Death Wish, is […]

Truth is Simple; Thought is Complex

This week’s article was written by Terry Rubenstein at the Innate Health Center in London. I love Terry’s emails, and I thought this one on simplicity was particularly share-worthy. The truth in things is always simple. When anything is appearing complex to us, we’re simply seeing it that way in that moment, from the current […]

Look Inside, Not Outside. Really.

We experience our inner world, not our outer world. The nature of the human mind and consciousness is such that it’s not possible to directly experience something other than what our own mind is creating and bringing to life.   I’m not saying that we put our own subjective spin on what happens out in […]

Two Conversations about Life, Habits, Consciousness and Insight

I have two conversations for you this week. Both are about seeing how our human experience unfolds within and through us, moment-to-moment. Which should you check out? Both! But let me give you a little low-down on each so that you can make the best decision for yourself. The first conversation is with Lydia Wente, […]

Getting in Front of the Pull

The image to the right is my new favorite way of thinking about how the machine-that-is your-brain will lead you through life, if you let it.   Your brain is brilliant. It’s capable of incredible feats of intellect, memory, and logic. It keeps your body humming along and it has successfully kept you alive long […]

What does Inside-Out Really mean, Anyway?

At first glance, it looks like the world around us determines how we feel.  It looks like: Your cat runs away = you feel sad.  If your cat hadn’t run away = you’d feel better. And that’s probably true about the cat. I mean, it’s not true for everyone, always, across the board. But in […]

How my Mind Tried to Drag me Back into a Funk–and How I Didn’t Go

I recently had a pretty “off” few days.  There was a lot going on around me that I was taking on internally; replaying, rehashing, batting around in my mind. After what felt like a long funk, there was a moment in the car with the kids one morning when it lifted. The steady stream of […]

Back to Basics

Every article I write points at the same basic truths. Each article is a different way of looking at how our human experience is created moment to moment by our own thinking. This week, I wanted to take a step back and revisit the basics that I’ve seen be so helpful for so many people. […]

Are you Life’s Annoying Backseat Driver?

My husband is a major backseat driver.  To his credit, he tries hard not to be. He is quiet while I’m driving. It’s not like he’s screaming directions or barking orders at me–at least not since that last mid-trip “discussion”… But he definitely tries to drive from the passenger’s seat. Every time I pull into […]

Is Your Mind Playing Servant or Master?

(Read this on Huffington Post or comment there, if you want!) You’ve heard, “The mind is a wonderful servant but terrible master,” right? Or, “Use your mind; don’t let it use you”? Over the past few years in my own life, I’ve seen that these are not only cute sayings people toss around when they […]

You Get What You Get (and don’t throw a fit)

A couple years ago Willow came home from preschool repeating something her teacher had said in class. “You get what you get, and don’t throw a fit.” Maybe you’ve heard this before. I hadn’t, and I instantly loved it. Not only because it put a stop to a lot of “it’s not fair” arguments (it […]

When It’s Over, It’s Over

I heard something from a client yesterday that was music to my ears. In talking about her week prior, she said “I know it was full of ups and downs, but I didn’t feel the need to talk about them. And I don’t even remember them all now.” No, she not in denial and she […]

The Trick you Fall for Every day of your Life

**This article was originally published here in October 2014** Imagine that you wrote yourself a really mean letter, detailing all of your flaws and faults.  You put the letter in the mail, addressed to yourself.  A couple days later, it arrives in your mailbox. You read the letter. While it probably doesn’t feel good—it might […]

How One Woman Saw A New Truth

The beautiful piece below was written by a former client of mine. She, like all of us, is on learning curve in seeing how things work. At times her learning curve has been steep; other times a bit more flat. But she’s fully in this conversation, looking with curiosity and hope toward what there is to […]

It Only Works One Way

One of my favorite things about understanding the way our mind creates our experience is that it’s so simple.  It only works one way. The spiritual energy that is alive in all things makes it possible for thinking show up within us. That thinking is brought to life by our consciousness in the form of […]

Watch this short video about the 2015 Being Human Weekend Workshop

Please watch this 9 min video about the Second Annual Being Human Workshop in Ann Arbor this October. I’m really excited about it and I hope you’ll take the leap and choose to join us for a life-changing weekend. You can find out more here (after you watch the video, of course!)   Ready to sign […]

The Story of the Magic Oven

Imagine there’s an oven. A magic oven!   The magic oven has a timer that you can hear from wherever you are. Even the timer is magic because you don’t have to set it—the oven is so wise and so magical that the timer simply sounds off when your delicious creations are complete. Pretty magical, […]

Crying with a Cookie in Your Hand

Much as it pains me at times, my kids are growing up. (If you’re new here and you aren’t familiar with Willow and Miller, check out Being Human. Or these favorite, favorite, favorite posts.)  They are still amazingly present little balls of life, but I see them getting caught up in their thought-created inner worlds […]

Want to Experiment with Letting Go and Letting Life Lead the Way? Join me for The Surrender Experiment!

I recently read a book that blew my mind. It’s called The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer (the author of The Untethered Soul, a book I reference and recommend at the end of Being Human). The Surrender Experiment is the true story of what the author experienced when he stopped trying to control everything that […]

Your Thoughts and Feelings aren’t ‘About’ Anything

As much as it looks like your suffering is caused by something out in the world, it’s not.  And as much as it feels like your anxiety is about something, it really isn’t. Your drinking isn’t about alcohol, and your working-all-day-and-night habit isn’t caused by your type-A personality. Your insecurity isn’t due to your shyness […]

There are No Problems in Reality

The fact that all is well in the outside world—that there are conditions and circumstances but not problems, per se, out there—is something I’m continually discussing with people.   It’s quite simple, actually. And when people are already in a nice feeling, they see it right away. There’s something that just feels true about truth, […]

The Truth about Thinking About Yourself

“The day you cease to travel, you will have arrived”—Japanese saying I heard somewhere  The more you think about yourself, the less content you tend to be. You intuitively know this to be true, don’t you?  It works in reverse as well: the more content you are, the less you tend to think about yourself. […]

Acceptance is not the Consolation Prize

I’ve never met anyone who wouldn’t want something about themselves to be a bit different.   Whether it’s being a few inches taller, or being a little more focused or driven or relaxed, we can all point to something we’d change if we could. It’s only human. It’s not a problem that we can all […]

The Mental Calming Effect of Commitment

Meet Dave.  When Dave was dating his girlfriend Debbie, he had a lot of complaints about her. Dave said Debbie was negative. She never saw possibilities, only problems. She expected too much of him. Dave said Debbie was hard to live with at times. And yet, something kept Dave hanging on. In time, Dave asked […]

Why Willpower Doesn’t Work

I just found out that my upcoming book (it’ll be published by New Harbinger this time next year) will be called The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking any Habit. Although I wouldn’t have necessarily thought to describe it as a “no-willpower approach”, it is an accurate description. It’s not that […]

How to Share the Truth (with Wisdom by Willow)

I get a lot of questions about how we can teach the things I write about to young children.   Raising children who see the truth about their nature, who are comfortable with emotion, and who know how their experience is created, is a big deal. It’s no exaggeration to say that this understanding could […]

You Are Far Less Stable Than You Think

How It Looked Then  Fourteen years ago I found myself with a diagnosis: panic disorder. I was having up to 25 panic attacks a day.  Many days, I spent more time in a state of acute anxiety than not. The thing about diagnoses is that they suggest a whole bunch of stuff that may or […]

Your Best Thinking Got You Here

There is a popular saying in addiction recovery. Your best thinking got you here. You did what you did …you’re always doing what you’re doing…because it seemed like the thing to do in that moment. Your best thinking got you here. That doesn’t mean part of you didn’t know there was another way. When you […]

Stop Trying to be Better and just BE, better.

When I stopped “working on myself” and put an end to the all-consuming quest to be better than I already was, life became infinitely nicer.  I used to believe I had a problem: life wasn’t always wonderful. Making myself a more self-actualized, better person looked like the obvious solution. Turns out, all of that supposed […]

It’s Okay to Have No Goals and Want Nothing

Maybe you’ve had a time in your life when there were no particular goals you were working toward and nothing in particular you were dreaming about. When, if someone walked up to you on the street and granted you a wish, you’d need a few minutes to place your order? I have clients in that […]

The Promise in all of this Crazy Stuff I Write About

When I first read this short blog post by my friend Bonnie, I knew I’d want to share with you all at some point.  She writes about the evolution so many of us go through. I went through it too, very similar to how Bonnie describes it. Imagine this—maybe you can relate:  You’re floating through […]

If I’m so Resourceful, Why Can’t I Figure out How to Feel Better?

The people I work with are smarter than your average bear. They are resourceful, bright, successful people. The other day, a man I find especially bright and resourceful (if I had a question about anything I’d ask this guy, knowing he could find the answer in a flash), told me he was looking for a […]

A Super Entertaining Story about Silence and Peace

I’d really love it if you’d read this hilarious and entertaining article.     My friend Lisa wrote it about her year of silence. Her year of silence was a long time ago, but as you can imagine, spending a year in silence is kind of a big deal in one’s life. So it took […]

10 Big Ideas About Ending Habits and Addictions

Everyone I’ve ever met has had some habit or addiction they’d like to kick for good. And nearly everyone I’ve ever met has lots of opinions on how to do that.  The 10 big ideas that follow are adaptations from the latest cutting-edge neuroscience research and some very powerful spiritual principles. This is the approach that […]

Why Your Problems Are not Nearly as Permanent as They Seem

“When we…go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.” ~Pam Vredevelt There is a way in which we tend to view issues in our lives that makes it seem like the issue is […]

How to Float (A Song I want to Share with You)

One day several months ago, a woman named Jen reached out to me to let me know how much she loved Being Human.  She heard something really profound in the ideas in that book (ideas that I take no ownership of, by the way. They are universal principles, not my unique thoughts). Jen heard something […]

What a New House has Shown Me About Being Human

We just bought a house.   It’s a great house, but it also needs a lot of work. Some of the work is relatively small — like painting every ceiling, wall, door, baseboard and square inch of crown molding — while some is much bigger — like a complete kitchen and master bathroom remodel. We’ve […]

How to Live with your Mind at Ease, Reveling in the Experience of Being Alive

Michael Neill shared the poem If by Rudyard Kipling on a call I was on with him a few weeks back and it struck me as an excellent thing to share with you. The way of traveling through life described in the poem is entirely possible. It is the promise of the sort of understanding […]

Falling in Love with Any Work You Do

Like most high school and college students, I went through a lot of summer jobs.  I was a hostess at Applebee’s. I worked in a Ford Motor Company plant where I drove a hi-lo, picking car parts to ship off to assembly plants around the world. I was a bartender at a dive bar outside […]

When You Think You’re Not in Love Anymore

I bet you’ve known someone whose feelings shifted and they decided they were no longer in love with the person they used to be in love with. Maybe it’s even been you. When you fall out of love, it can really look like the person you used to love changed. Something that was once there […]

How to Find Clarity When You’re Confused About What to Do

“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” ~Cicero  You know that state of confusion where you feel really unsure about what to do—you’re talking about it with all of your friends, making lists, weighing options, lying awake all night? As truly confused and unsure as you may feel in those moments, you’re not. You […]

Want to Try a Life-Changing Experiment?

What if nothing in the outside, physical world had a significant impact on how you feel on a daily basis? Can you imagine? If you knew for certain that nothing in the external world—not partners, jobs, kids, houses, money, how you look, what you say, think, or do with your time—had a significant impact on […]

FREE Call — Bouncing Back to the Surface: How to Experience Ease by Doing Nothing

“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” –Sydney Banks   There is so much less to do in life than you might think. Have you noticed how sometimes, when you’re not trying or doing anything in particular, you find yourself bounced back […]

Podcast: The Voice in Your Head

“We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.” ~Sir Anthony Hopkins I have a special treat for you-my voice! Okay, my voice may not be all that special but I thought you might get […]

You Can’t Think Your Way to Positive Feelings (and you don’t have to)

Positive feelings are built into who you are. They are part of your design, they were in your original blueprints, they come pre-installed when you were born.  You can’t think your way to positive feelings, at least not in any real or lasting way. You can think happy thoughts and feel happy feelings, or think […]

Evidence That You Are Well and Always Will Be

“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do” –Eckhart Tolle I was recently speaking with a friend about what it feels like to connect with your underlying, always-there, state of well-being. I attempted to describe the indescribable—the feeling underneath the mental […]

Raising Children who aren’t Afraid of Emotion

It seems that every time I hear useful advice about how to influence children, it always comes back to the same thing: Whatever it is you want your kids to do, do it yourself.  (This applies to relationships with anyone, by the way. Give what you want to get. Be the change you want to […]

Why Life gets Easier when you Steer Clear of Self-Help

I used to read a lot of very traditional self-help. It wasn’t always the case—but it also wasn’t rare—that I’d close the book feeling a little worse than when I started. Searching for answers outside of yourself can be a desperate cycle of getting your hopes up, being let down, and blaming yourself. Self-help sometimes […]

Why I’m naming my book Being Human (even though you told me not to)

My second book is nearly done. I’m going to be totally honest without concern for how this sounds: I think it’s really good. I am super proud of this book in a way I never really was with Modern Enlightenment (which may have had more to do with post-pregnancy hormones than the  book itself, but […]

So What if You Don’t Know?

“Sometimes questions are more important than answers” –Nancy Willard It always amazes me how much meaning people attach to the innocent little state of uncertainty. Actually, “I don’t know” is an innately neutral statement of fact pertaining to a single moment in time. There is never anything inherently bad, scary, or ‘wrong’ with “I don’t […]

Decisions, decisions

It’s pretty amazing what people do because they think it will give them a better life.  They wake up insanely early and go to bed insanely late. They go to college, they set goals. They work hard or they refuse to work hard. They decide to be ambitious. They get married or they stay single; […]

3 Unconventional Tips for Forgiving and Letting Go

This is a fantastic article by my friend Lisa Esile. “The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.” ~Pema Chodron Forgiveness is good, right? I don’t mean in a heal the planet kind of way—I mean in a selfish, me me me kind of way. We want to let go of our resentments […]

What you’re doing doesn’t matter.

The outside-in illusion is a persuasive one, I tell you. I’m working on my second book. Earlier this week I sat on the floor of my office—Cat Stevens blaring through Spotify—with 44 pages spread in front of me, each one representing a different chapter, quote, or story I plan to include. I spent an hour […]

Make the Most of Anything

Time moves. Quickly. Quite unfairly, it often appears to speed up the older you are. But there is a way to combat that time-fly that doesn’t involve a time machine. It’s being fully in your life today. Moving right in, inhabiting your moments and experiences. Here’s an easy rule of thumb: Experiencing your thinking about […]

On figuring it out

What percentage of your day do you suppose you’re in your head, trying to figure something out? Maybe you’re thinking about what’s for dinner or using concepts and memory to solve a problem at work. Maybe you’re trying to arrive at the best way to discipline your kids, ask your boss if you can leave […]

Why outside-in seems so compelling (and why it’s actually only superstition)

I had a fascinating experience this morning. I felt really good. I was totally tapped into a nice, healthy dose of inner peace. I felt a profound sense of connection—people and nature looked radiant in a way they rarely do. My always delicious coffee was off-the-charts delicious today. The Illusion Almost immediately, and even though […]

Want to get lucky? Here’s how.

Things happen to us that we can’t control. All the time. But we do have some control over what we bring to the table: how we prepare, our qualities, our attitude. And we do have some control over how we respond to those chance things that happen to us. It’s like the old joke about […]

A story about presence: Traveling with my kids

Traveling with children is totally enlightening. I live largely in my thinking. This is my experience: Thinking… “We have three, maybe four hours between wake up time and time for Miller’s first nap.  Two to three hours once you factor in breakfast and baths. What should we do? We should go to the beach. Will […]

Behind the Veil

As I’ve reminded you many times, you are perfect. There is nothing wrong with you. Self-help is a massive misnomer. The only help you might need is understanding. Understanding that when your perfection and peace of mind are not obvious, they are only being veiled by personal thought. Understanding that personal thought is highly subjective. […]

Goal Setting in an Inside-Out World

Here’s what goal setting looks like when you believe in an Outside-In World:  You believe something “out there” in the world will make you happy, so you set a goal to achieve it.  Sounds pretty typical, right? The thing is, when you’re chasing down a goal because you think it’s going to make you happy, […]

What to “do” with your scariest thoughts

I got up to change the baby’s diaper last night and when I came back to bed, something seemed off about my husband. He seemed to be sleeping unusually still. I couldn’t hear or see him breathing.  My mind immediately raced to what life would be like if he were dead. Read the rest on […]

How to drop the extra (mental) weight

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” -Thich Nhat Hanh Most people I know are carrying extra weight—and I’m not talking about gaining a few pounds.  I’m talking about the mental and emotional weight we lug around with us. We carry it everywhere—like a backpack full of bricks—and it […]

Conducting the Symphony of Shoulds

I recently spent an entire week writing down all my thoughts that began with the words “I should”. I went through a lot of paper. Some were blatantly obvious. They flowed from my head and straight out of my mouth, like when I told hubby, “I should be working, it’s almost 9am” as we cleaned […]

Are you doing what’s normal or what’s natural?

I have a beautiful new client who wants to feel better. She has a lot of circumstances in her life that no one would wish for. Because of those circumstances, her well-meaning friends expect her to be in constant misery. Her dear, benevolent friends believe that happiness and peace of mind come from the outside-in. […]

A New Way to Make a Wish

Willow and I have a girls’ day routine. We go for a long walk and I take her to a park she loves because there is a fountain there. She stands on the ledge of the fountain. I give her a penny and tell her to throw it in and make a wish. “What’s a […]

Being the perfect girl

“You can be anything you want.”  Empowering, right?  One of my all-time favorite books discusses how my generation grew up with feminist mothers “empowering” us with this very statement, day in and day out. My mom taught me this. Did yours? But instead of empowering us, that simple little statement set off a lifelong quest […]

What to do when you don’t know what you want

For all the talk about getting clear on what you want, having a vision, keeping your eye on the prize… …I want to tell you that it’s also okay to have no flippin’ clue what’s next. It’s okay to not know exactly what you want. It’s okay to have no vision. Or for your vision […]

Whose opinion do you trust?

Whose opinion do you trust? When all those outside opinions of  you are screaming in your head, which one is loudest? Which carries the most weight?  Which one do you believe over the others? The voice that sounds most assertive or confident? The deepest (male) one? The oldest one?  The most Catholic, Jewish, or Buddhist […]

How to be more consistent

A client recently asked for some motivation. Specifically, she wanted to be motivated to consistently take some actions that she was currently being inconsistent about. Even more specific…how ‘bout I just tell you exactly what she said? Client: “I exercise sporadically, I make efforts towards finding a new job sporadically, I take care of my […]

Addressing the Right Person so you don’t take it out on the Wrong Person

Did you catch Bishop TD Jakes on Oprah’s Lifeclass a few weeks back? (You can watch most of it here if you’re interested). Jakes was talking to a woman about speaking her mind with her brother. Finally telling him how she feels so that she can move past her resentment and get on with her […]

If nothing ever changed, could you be as happy as you want to be?

The power was out on much of the East Coast last weekend.  Some people were really affected by the outage. You’ve seen these people—the ones who end up interviewed by the local news or The Weather Channel. Their lives are put on hold until power is restored. They have no say in when their power […]

All anxiety is just one thing

I’m beginning to think all anxiety in life comes from wanting to control things.  Me and anxiety are pretty tight. I’ve been on all sides: coaching hundreds of people through it, coaching myself through it, and before all that, being home-bound and debilitated from it. And my decades of “research” are pointing to one single […]

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