EP216: Willpower and Shame

Trying to change through willpower has a massive downside that’s rarely discussed: shame.

If we believe that change is up to us–we simply need to work hard enough or want it badly enough–that means it’s also on us when our change attempts don’t work. 

Believing that we make things happen in life through effort or will puts us on a pride-shame roller coaster, where our successes are personal and full of pride, and our failures are personal and full of shame. 

But the pride-shame roller coaster is avoidable. It is rooted in misunderstanding. 

Willpower was never going to lead to long-term change.

We were never meant to control life through a separate, personal will. 

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