Category: Being Human

Acceptance Can be Very Misleading

Acceptance is kind of a psychological buzz word. People everywhere are convinced they need to “accept their feelings” or “accept reality” in order to be free. And there may be a nugget of truth in that. Resisting and fighting certainly aren’t going to bring freedom. But there’s a critical distinction in this acceptance thing we

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New Year, Original You

“New Year, New You” is a marketing hook used to sell all sorts of things this month. It’s also one of my least favorite phrases ever. I’m not saying there is anything inherently wrong with it. They are just innocent little words. And I’m not saying there is anything intentionally salesy or manipulative about it.

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Resilience isn’t a Personality Trait. It’s a Human Given.

I was talking with some friends recently about a mutual friend of ours.  Our mutual friend had a tough year. Shocking divorce. Health issues. A temporary slip back into depression and old, addictive patterns used to numb that depression. We all agreed: Our friend has really gone through the lowest of the low. He was

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The Content Blob that is You

I recently heard an actor being interviewed about her process for getting into character.  She explained that she creates a history—in her own mind—for the character she needs to become. The movie script points toward some history, of course. But this particular actress goes beyond that. She vividly imagines her character at various moments in

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Why Tools and Practices Are Nice, but They Aren’t ‘It’.

I spent years feeling less-than because I wasn’t a regular meditator.  (Wait…you too?) It just seemed so appealing. So magical. There you are in stillness, tapped into something far deeper than your typical, mind-manufactured experience. Feeling at one with all of life, in complete peace and tranquility. Insights and creative ideas flowing through you. Wayne

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A Paradigm Shift over 100 Years in the Making (and you have a front row seat)

We are standing at the cusp of a new understanding of the human experience.  The field of psychology has always lacked a paradigm of unifying principles. “Hard” sciences like physics and chemistry have laws. There are basic principles—like the laws of motion in physics—that underlie and unify every discovery within those fields. Everything in physics

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The Problem of the Day

I had a close friend in graduate school. I’ll call her Karen.   A few years before I met Karen, her mom died after a long illness. Because Karen was the oldest child (Karen’s parents were divorced), she was responsible for making some critical medical decisions on her mother’s behalf. She never knew exactly what

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 What Are You Not Seeing?

There’s a common phenomenon among students of this understanding I study and share.  We’ve seen some things about life that have been really helpful. We’ve had insights that have made clear what was previously murky. We’ve found relief from suffering at times, and we’ve probably all had the experience of laughing out loud at how

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You Don’t Have to Fix the Past in Order to Have a New Future

The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron My family recently drove from Michigan to North Carolina—twenty hours roundtrip. To entertain themselves, my five-year-old daughter Willow taught my three-year-old son Miller to play rock-paper-scissors in the backseat. Miller learned the hand signals and got the overall concept pretty

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Finding A Soft Place to Rest

This article was originally published in July 2016. There’s an inner churning that happens.  Or a circling, perhaps. Like a dog circling the rug, looking for a soft place to rest. That circling is what happens when a mind is disturbed. I don’t mean disturbed in any sort of stable or unhealthy way. Disturbed is a temporary

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