Tag: acceptance

10 Tips for Dealing with Difficult Family Members

You’re sitting around the Christmas tree, or the Menorah, or the fruitcake and bottle of scotch, with your family. Everyone’s in a great mood, grateful for this time together. The glimmer of holiday lights reflects off the blanket of white, fluffy snow.  Alternating scents of pine and apple pie waft thorough the house. Your family

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How to believe in your positive qualities

In the newsletter a few weeks back I told you was reading a book called The Shadow Effect. “Shadow work” is relatively common in the self-help world…it’s about delving into and coming to fully embrace your shadow parts. Your shadow parts are similar to what you might think of as flaws or faults but that’s

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All anxiety is just one thing

I’m beginning to think all anxiety in life comes from wanting to control things.  Me and anxiety are pretty tight. I’ve been on all sides: coaching hundreds of people through it, coaching myself through it, and before all that, being home-bound and debilitated from it. And my decades of “research” are pointing to one single

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Why you don’t love yourself more. And how to.

Improving self-love and decreasing the desire for approval are part of my life every single day. I’m either helping other people through it, or I’m working on my own issues with it. Constantly. We love ourselves just fine at first. Then something happens. I remember this vividly from my own childhood. I’d have an idea

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The paradox of self-help

I’m obsessed with paradox lately. You know paradox—a statement that seems contradictory but really isn’t. Two (or more) things that appear to be mutually exclusive but both are actually true. My favorite paradox is this: You are whole + perfect + enough as you are right now and you can be better. If you have

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A Cure for Envy

I’m experimenting with a new theory. It’s a way to transform envy. Because feeling envy is not fun and I know there’s a more Enlightened way. You know how you react when your envy is triggered? I’ll share one of my cases: I’m kind of jealous of this awesome woman I know. I feel it

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When your Parent Can’t Give You the Love You Deserve

I knew I’d write about this someday, but it wasn’t supposed to be now. Then a friend confided in me that she was scared to death that her mother—who doesn’t show her much love or approval—was right about her. And someone else turned to me when her relationship with her parents unraveled because they couldn’t

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Do You Care what Other People Think of You?

I traffic in fear. Much of my day involves hearing clients’ fears. The most popular? “Joe Schmoe won’t like me”. They’re worried about what so-and-so thinks of them, or they’re doing X—which they hate to do—because another person’s opinion matters so much. Worrying about approval from others is an epidemic. Maybe even a pandemic. People

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Give Yourself Some Sound Advice

I get very reminiscent in the fall. Do you ever look back at the person You Were at some point in the past and think of what you might tell that person now?  From Who You Are today, what would you tell the You of 10 years ago? Ten years ago, I was starting my

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The Emotion of Books

I love books. When I was growing up my mom made a living as a hairstylist, doing hair from a salon that was attached to our home. She worked most of the day most days of the week, just far enough away for me and my sister to get away with a lot but close enough to

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