If this were true, it would mean that no outcome is truly “bad”. It feels bad at the time and we may never fully understand the purpose, but there is a purpose and it is always in our best interest. How many “bad” things have happened in your life? How many of those “bad” things have led to wonderful things?
Think of one of the best things that ever happened to you. Now think of one positive or neutral event that led to that best thing. For example, if your best thing is meeting your partner, think of one cause that led to you meeting your partner. Maybe it’s going to the bar where you met, or taking the job where you met the colleague that introduced you.
Now think of one “bad” event that led to the cause of meeting your partner. Were you at the bar to let off steam after a stressful day? Did you take the job and meet the colleague because you were fired from your previous job? Stressful day or getting fired (“bad” events) + do something in response = best thing in your life. Interesting.
We easily get caught up in trying to figure it all out. I constantly hear people say things like, “It shouldn’t have happened”, “It was a meaningless crime”, “If I had it to do over again…” They believe that the “bad” thing happened in error because the gifts and lessons of the event aren’t obvious.
Ever heard someone who survives cancer say it was the best thing that ever happened to them? They don’t say it on the way home from hearing the diagnosis. They certainly don’t say it in the middle of chemo. But they do usually say it once the payoffs become clear. Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes it takes a lifetime.
Another point of resistance is in trusting that there is something greater than us that knows better than we do. It’s easy to fall into thinking that we know what is best for us. This is how we become overly attached to specific outcomes.
Let’s say you really, really want a specific house you’re bidding on. It’s your dream home and you are absolutely certain that it’s the best place to raise your family. Even if someone told you they thought the property may depreciate, the neighborhood was headed downhill, the schools aren’t as good as they used to be, you’ll take your chances. After all, you know what’s best for you, right?
You become so attached to a specific outcome that you develop tunnel vision and ignore sound advice or other options. Maybe the universe has something better in store for you. Can you trust it? Whenever I set an intention I attach to the end: “This or something better for the greatest good of all concerned”. You may curse the universe for your bid not being accepted but if your dream house has structural issues or mold in the basement, you actually got what was in the greatest good of all concerned.
I have no idea if everything is perfect, and it doesn’t really matter. The real question is: What if you live the rest of your life believing it is true?