Have you ever thought this?
I asked one of my clients what harm there was in getting excited about a possible outcome.
She explained that not getting excited for something you want protects you from the disappointment of it not happening. I guess I get where she’s coming from, but it’s pretty faulty logic if you think about it.
You think you’re about to get something you really, really want. Let’s say it’s your dream job doing exactly what you’ve always wanted to do. The interviews went great, the HR person told you to watch your mail, the only thing missing is the official offer letter.
Suppose you’ll receive a definitive answer about the job in a week. What do you do during that week? Do you hold down your excitement and remain in a nervous state of uncertainty until the decision comes, “just in case”?
Or do you spend the week imagining that the offer will come, seeing your huge salary in black and white, planning which shoes you’ll wear on the first day at work (okay, maybe that’s just me)…
I once had a 43 year old client tell me she was too old to pursue her dream of becoming an attorney. She kept telling me she’d be at least 47 by the time she even had a job.
I asked her how old she’d be in 4 years if she didn’t become an attorney. That seemed to help her see through the excuse she was fabricating (which was based on her fear of success and had nothing at all to do with her age). If you’re going to be 47 in 4 years anyway, do you want to be a 47 year old attorney or a 47 year old person who dreams of being an attorney?
Do you want to be happy for a week and then find out whether you got the job, or do you want to be miserable for a week and then find out whether you got the job?
Do you think what you do in that week has any effect on the outcome? Most people say it doesn’t, but act as if it does. They’ll say, “The interview is over, it’s up to them now. It’s out of my hands; the ball is in their court.” They’re waiting for fate to deliver the decision.
If that’s your belief, why not be happy for a week before fate or destiny or God makes the decision? Because on some level, they actually do think they have some control. The same people who feel it’s out of their hands will tell me that getting too excited might jinx it. Wait a minute…if your actions can jinx the outcome, it must not be fully determined, right? If you believe your excitement can jinx things against you, couldn’t your excitement just as easily influence the outcome in your favor? More easily, actually, if you believe that fate and destiny are on always on your side.
I believe that how we feel in the intervening week has a huge impact on the outcome. It’s all about energy—the energy we experience, what we put out toward others and into the world.
When you think about wonderful things, wonderful things show up for you. Even if you don’t believe that your thoughts make them show up, we know from science that when we think about and expect wonderful things, we notice more wonderful things. How do you think you act when you expect to get the offer letter? You act the way a person who has the job would act. You might treat yourself to a new suit, start reading the trade journals to get a leg up on the field, spend a little of the signing bonus you’re anticipating.
These things show the universe that you mean business and get the ball rolling. Everything in our lives starts with a thought.
Truth be told, about two months ago I was making myself sick. I was “cautiously optimistic” (with the emphasis on cautious) about something that I really, really, REALLY wanted to work out. As soon as I heard myself say, “I’ll feel good when…” I knew I was in trouble.
As often happens, the synchronistic Universe stepped in to help. Here is what I found in my inbox the next day. I guess sometimes you just have to give thanks and bust a move.
“Too often, Amy, the only difference between HAVE and HAVE NOT depends on whether or not the initial request was followed by a thank you, yee-haa, and action, rather than a question mark, timidity, and TV.
Don’t ask. Give thanks. Bust a move.
(If you want to receive your own magically synchronistic Notes from the Universe sign up at www.tut.com I’ve been getting these everyday for two years and I can’t tell you how many times they say exactly what you most need to hear)