Today I’m going to share a bit about my experience in silence.
If you missed my first message about why anyone would choose to go on a silent retreat, you can read that here.
And if you missed my second message about meditation on retreat and what that’s all about, read that one here.
Before I share some experiences from my silent retreat last year, I want to give an important caveat: Spending a week in silence is not about what’s experienced. It’s certainly not about trying to have a special or transcendent experience, which could never be guaranteed and would be over as quickly as it appeared anyway.
For me, the entire point of silent retreat is to rediscover what’s here beyond experience. What’s not experience? What never changes?
So, hold my experience very lightly. I’ll keep it brief so that I can also attempt to describe what came to be more deeply known during and after that week – that which is not experience.
Since my retreat last year, the pull toward that still, silent essence is more palpable than ever.
It’s like a subtle pulsing energy, a purring cat or a small ripple of joy that is always there, although not always noticed. I can feel it in the background and also in the foreground when attention moves toward it.
That still, silent essence feels like home. Stories, narratives and feelings don’t feel unimportant, but they are more appearance-like than the silent essence that’s always calling. It’s harder to get wrapped up in what comes and goes; harder to take it too seriously, although taking it seriously still seems to happen at times. There is an absolute knowing that there is something silent, still and palpable that is more real than anything appearing.
The deep knowing of this, and the closeness of it – feeling as if I have my finger on the pulse of it and that I can turn toward it at any time – is more precious than I can possibly describe. I would not give it up for anything.
Again, please hold my experience and my descriptions lightly. Experience comes and goes. Words fall short. All of this is different for everyone. But I do hope this gives you a feel for what’s possible as you steep in your essential being.
If you are open to exploring this yourself, check out all the details of my February silent retreat here.
The retreat will be small, so space is limited. Please reach out if you have any questions!
