*This post is Part I in a two part installment on making choices*
Ever noticed how easy it is to get worked up when you’re choosing between options?
Last week a client was struggling with the choice between being induced or letting her baby come on its own, both of which (given her health history) had a particular set of risks.
Someone else wanted coaching around a job choice—Job A vs. Job B. She had made a million pros and cons lists but just couldn’t eliminate one.
The thing about these kinds of choices is that both options are good, or you wouldn’t be struggling between them. If one were clearly superior, it’d be a no-brainer.
The fact that you’re struggling proves that you can’t go wrong. Or at least you can’t predict where you might go “wrong” so the long figuring out phase is pointless.
If neither option is clearly superior, stop trying to make it so.
People don’t want a good choice. They want the best choice. I’d even go so far as saying they want the perfect choice. I get it, I do too.
But again—if you’re struggling between a few options, there obviously is no perfect choice. A perfect choice would just be chosen. It wouldn’t be debated. Good options are debated, perfect options are chosen.
If you can let go of the thought that one choice is “right” and the other is “wrong”, it gets a lot easier.
You make the one that feels slightly better (or flip a coin if you can’t decide), knowing it’s not inherently “right” and it’s certainly not perfect. Then after you make it, you line up with it.
That’s right—most of your work is done after the choice is made, not before. Once you’ve done your best to choose your favorite option, you totally get on board with it.
That means if you chose induction, you start talking to people who had healthy, successful ones.
If you chose Job A, you re-read your pros list for Job A. You burn the cons list. You get excited about the company and start making friends there and reminding yourself all the wonderful things about Job A that made it so impossible to eliminate.
Job B is a distant memory. You’re all about Job A now.
And that’s how you end up feeling excellent about your choice. That’s how you come to see your chosen option as the perfect choice for you, the clear winner. You choose one first, and line up later.
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You also seem to read my mind with these posts. I’ve noticed I’ve been struggling a lot with decision making lately. Unfortunately, it isn’t even big or important decisions that make me struggle. In fact a lot of times what hangs me up is deciding between the easy/convenient/status quo and the challenging/healthy choice. And, more often than not, I choose status quo. Because I can always change tomorrow, right? UGH
There is definitely something going around with choices feeling harder than they need to be! You CAN always change tomorrow. But you could choose the healthy choice and change that tomorrow too, if you must 🙂