Now answer this: How does that feel?
My guess is that how it feels depends on whether you believe you’re living yours or not.
When you believe we all have a life purpose, and you happen to be living yours, all is well.
But what happens when you believe we all have a purpose but you have no idea what yours is?
For many, those clashing beliefs set you up for a flood of self-flagellation like:
- Why haven’t I found my purpose yet?
- How do I find my purpose?
- What’s wrong with me?
- What if I never find it?
- Is it too early for a drink?
I’d like to invite you to question the beliefs that hurt, no matter what they are.
If believing you have a purpose that you aren’t in touch with doesn’t feel good, maybe it’s simply not true.
This article is about two things, really. One general, one specific.
1. The General Thing: It is about questioning the truth of the thoughts that hurt. I personally believe that if a thought hurts, it contains a lie. (There is some clarification on that here, if you’re interested).
2. The Specific Thing: One of the things I’ve most often seen people use to beat themselves up is the belief that they are somehow “lost” or “off purpose” in their lives.
They read all kinds of self-help that tells them that we all have gifts that are unique to us; gifts we can share with others to heal ourselves and the world.
And they take that to mean that there is a singular purpose or one-master-gift inside of them that is theirs to uncover.
Because their purpose isn’t readily apparent, or because it doesn’t look the way they expect it to look, uncovering and using their purpose feel hard. Like a riddle they have to solve—a code they have to crack in order to have genuine fulfillment in life.
This is just their interpretation, of course.
And again, I ask, how does this feel? Always ask: How does my interpretation feel?
Does it make you want to lunge into action or hide under the covers?
If it doesn’t feel expansive and shackles-off and action-inducing, maybe it’s simply not true.
What might be true instead, you ask?
I’d flip it around. Ask not “what is true instead?” and then see how that feels, ask “what feels good?” and then make that your truth.
Some new possibilities might be: My life’s purpose is always being lived by me, even when it doesn’t look that way. It can’t be any other way.
Or: There is no one life purpose to tap into.
Or my personal favorite: My life’s purpose is mine to create, not uncover.
If any of these—or any of your own ideas feel better—why not choose to believe them?
You can borrow my rule of thumb if you’d like: Truth is determined by how good something feels.
That way, anything that feels awful is automatically examined and reevaluated.
It’s worth a try.