(This article was originally published in September 2013. Three years later, it’s still true.)
Life would be easier if they had more of it. The lack of it is the root of many of their problems.
So I ask: What do you think confidence is, anyway?
What do you think it is?
Having positive thoughts about your abilities? The belief that you’re good enough or that you’ll be okay no matter what? Caring more about your own opinion than others’ opinions?
Those are all very reasonable. But I heard a more cut and dry definition the other day.
Confidence is a clear mind.
It’s a lack of beliefs about your ability, period. Not a whole lot of thinking about yourself or your abilities or worth at all.
Confidence is your natural state when you don’t have any of the biased thinking that takes you away from the natural, inner calm with which you were born. It’s you, un-messed with.
So when you say, “If I were more confident I would…” what you’re really saying is “If I didn’t’ have this pesky thinking in the way, I’d do what I want.”
And you’re right, you would. You’d fail a lot, just like babies fail when they try to feed themselves with a spoon at first, but you’d get it eventually and it wouldn’t have anything at all to do with “confidence”. It would simply be because you weren’t held back by doubts that appear valid.
You’d be on the same massive learning curve babies are on and you’d be about as torn up by your “failures” as they are (which is not at all).
It’s a bit of game changer, isn’t it? Confidence isn’t some big, mythical, impossible to obtain state. You don’t have think positively or learn anything new.
Confidence is nothing more than a clear mind.