Being “hard on yourself” is only possible when some very simple, near universal misunderstandings are in place. 
One, that you’re responsible for what you think, feel, and do. Two, that what you think, feel, and do means something about you. These are basically the same thing, both rooted in the illusion that there is a you that’s separate from the seamless flow of life with ultimate say in what happens.
And three, that a thought, feeling, or behavior other than what happened, could have happened. In other words, that life could be other than it is.
All of these feel true only in the fabricated story thought tells. Outside of that story, there is no self to be hard on and no reason to hard on that false self if it were real!
