Tag: fear

Overcoming Perfectionism: Perfect or F*&k It

This is a repost of a video blog I filmed back in November of 2010. That’s old. And I filmed it in my car, waiting to go into the dentist. But that imperfect style is the point, as  you’ll see… Here’s a purposely imperfect post dedicated to my awesome client whose family story is “Perfect or

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Distinguish True Intuition from Ego-Mind-Chatter

It’s a common confusion. You feel an inner nudge. There’s a voice. But can you trust it? How do you know? Is it really the deep voice of intuition, or just the mind? The guidance of Truth…or ego? I’m often unsure, just like you. But I’ve been working on it for quite a while now,

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Fight for your Right to Party. Not to Worry.

I get this question all the time when I’m helping people with chronic, habitual fear and worry. “But isn’t worry helpful, to some extent?” they ask, fighting for their right to worry. “Isn’t it protective?” From what do you think you need protection? The fear that your mind made up to begin with? Yes, that’s

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A Coaching Session about Fear

I’d like to share an email exchange between me and one of my clients. I’m sharing this with her full permission and blessing. I’m sharing it because her feelings are so common, so real, so human. I hear these same thoughts all the time—in my own head and from the mouths of others. We agreed

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Why it’s hard to Give to people in pain

This post by Danielle LaPorte took my breath away. I had been feeling awful about it already, so maybe that’s why. I’d love for you to head over and read her wisdom on why we resist giving to people in need. Why it sometimes takes extraordinary courage to give. And then come back here. And

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Do you Manufacture Worry?

It takes courage to be happy. It’s very human to be afraid of the uncertainty of life. Afraid all the good stuff you have is going to end and you won’t be able to cope. Brene Brown talks about the panic that sets in while she’s staring lovingly at her sleeping children. From “aren’t they

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How I Sabotage my Marriage

Humans love stability. And balance. So much so that even really good changes can feel uncomfortable. Winning the lottery, getting the staring role in that television drama, publishing your book…awesome, but panic-inducing, too. Just like thermostats, we have a set point. Diverging too far from our internal average leaves us feeling vulnerable. And vulnerable is

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No one is Paying Attention to You

People don’t notice your mistakes as much as you think they do. It’s a law of the universe. Okay, maybe not of the universe, but it is a law of human psychology. It’s called the Spotlight Effect in social psychology. There’s a study where college students are asked to do something super embarrasing…wear a Barry Manilow t-shirt

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When Fear Is Good

If you want to be happier and more enlightened, consider scaring the crap out of yourself once and a while.  We’ve all heard Eleanor’s famous advice, ‘Do one thing everyday that scares you’. But why? I’m always droning on and on about the importance of doing what feels good; of throwing out the shoulds and

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