Tag: podcast

EP350: How do I stop thinking about this?

I’d been wanting to create an episode that I was tentatively calling “They aren’t your thoughts – Revisited”.  Then, a series of questions along the lines of “How do I stop thinking about this?” started popping up, which led me to write something about that, which led to this episode. They aren’t your thoughts. You aren’t

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EP349: Where does it hurt? Asking the simplest, most direct question

We can all tell our story and it can feel helpful to do so at times. We feel seen and heard, our experience recognized by another person as valid and real-to-us.  But what seems even more helpful is sharing what’s beneath the story. Going to the simplest, most immediate thing. Something more like how it

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EP348: I can’t surrender or feel self-compassion. Responding to a listener’s questions.

This week’s episode speaks to a listener’s questions about self-compassion and surrender. Jay says they have a block to self-compassion. They want to know how one can access this self-love without talking yourself into it. There are so many threads in this question that lead to an exploration of feeling, expectations, blocks, what surrender is, the

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EP347: Unraveling ego at the feeling level

There’s a progression that seems to happen.You might say it’s from gross to subtle.  Where attention shifts from being absorbed in abstractions, thoughts, representations, and relationships…to attention moving to much more subtle energies like sensations, sensory input, and maybe something like intuition or perception.Identity is viewed in these different ways. From gross thought and beliefs

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EP345: Willfulness and positionality dissolve into silence

In my recent silent retreat we explored the fact that nothing was happening.  All retreatants had to do was show up when the gong chimed and be quiet. Literally nothing else. Their entire day from 10am to 10pm was scheduled for them. Meals were prepared and served. Life for 6 days was unbelievably simple. And so

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EP344: Phobias – What are you really afraid of?

In this episode, I talk about how I work with common phobias.  First we look at what you’re really afraid of – It’s what you think (literally), not the thing you think you’re afraid of (flying, spiders, vomit, germs, etc.) Then, we look at the feeling aspect of the fear. The combination of imagination + feeling is

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EP343: Following and leading are the same thing

Following has been an important pointer for me over the years.  Following, or yielding to what’s already here, looking toward what wants to happen, absorbing, immersing, disintegrating, or melting into what is, being overwhelmed…these all have the flavor of following.And sometimes there’s a flavor of leading. Not following what the world says in terms of

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EP342: Being a failure, forgiving yourself, and the reality of the past: Questions from a listener

In this episode, I address a series of questions sent in by a listener. Hannah says she has performed horribly in past work environments and that’s not a thought, it’s a reality. Isn’t it that reality that’s causing her depression?She also gets that the past is over, but it still happened and it was still

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EP341: Don’t take delivery

Those thoughts that aren’t yours…yes, that’s all of them…you don’t have to pick them up.  If you don’t want them and you didn’t order them, you don’t have to take delivery of them. Let it be this simple. The thoughts that want to make it more complicated than this also don’t need to be taken delivery of. ***Beginning

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EP340: How do I find peace in reality?

Peace is not in something else. It’s not in adding more or changing what’s here.It’s actually here, in this, now. How can that be when what’s here now is difficult and unwanted? I’ll talk about the difference between an abstraction (e.g., I’m going through a divorce, my country is at war, I have cancer) – there’s

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