Shelly says she used to be overly reactive. She would get defensive at people’s actions and comments, and the feeling that came with this reactivity was overwhelming. 
After trying so many things to fix her “reactivity problem”, Shelly sees this “problem” in a completely different light now.
Shelly shares how reactivity is simply identification with a belief. When there’s an identification with a belief as “me” or “mine”, of course there will be actions taken to defend it. It can’t be any other way.
But in seeing that thoughts are just thoughts; no one is here to own them and there is truly nothing to defend, reactivity has begun to look and feel very different for Shelly.
The horrible feeling she used to experience regularly is far less. When it’s felt now, it looks more like a loving reminder that there’s some identification happening rather than that Shelly is under attack.
I love how Shelly talks about one of the biggest benefits of this shift–her ability to deeply listen in a way she never thought possible. With nothing to defend, she is free to be fully present with people, and even with life itself. There is so much joy and excitement in discovering life in this way.
What Shelly shares is so relatable for all of us and I know you’ll enjoy this conversation!
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If you still haven’t been through LSBC, this is the time! And if you have been through the course, this is the time to come back through with the new and improved content, to start 2022 in a great place.
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 41:52 — 38.3MB)
What if these disturbing, reactive thoughts aren’t true? This was a favorite podcast of mine. You both explain this so beautifully/deeply/clearly. This one, deeply seen insight is the core of what I’m seeing for myself and it’s so true for so many of us!! It’s the bottom line. Just questioning our thoughts/beliefs…..”is this true ?” as Byron Katie would say….is a game changer. Shelly has expressed this SO clearly and, because of my participation in the school, I can see it in a MUCH bigger way….the truth of it, not just the intellectual understanding.
A feeling of lightheartedness seems to be arising more and more. That this can be seen and known experientially creates a much more spacious and relaxed observation of it as it unfolds. As she says, these feelings may still come up but we’re onto them. It’s an actual felt sense in the body as the resistance to these learned/automatic reactions loses it’s grip. This feeling of relaxation…the letting go… is so real and welcome!!
It so wonderful to have this shared and confirmed by you both. We’re truly all in this life together. Thank you!