Knowing Despite Feeling

Little girl with dogWillow begged and begged (and begged) for another dog after Buddha died.

She made lists of extra chores she’d do and she did them all.

She wrote a persuasive essay on why she should have another dog. She created slideshows showing us everything a dog needed and exactly how she’d train and care for a dog if we were to get one.

We got her a fish. She liked her fish, but still begged for a dog.

We found a dog online that was available for adoption. The whole family agreed that it was “the one”, especially Willow.

Somehow this dog knew she was Willow’s from the beginning. It was love at first sight for both of them. Jelly follows Willow everywhere and Willow calls Jelly her soulmate.

The funny thing is, even after months of hearing no and thousands of “it’s not fair”’s, Willow says she always knew she’d have a dog. She saw this coming, even down to the soulmate part, the whole time.

She says sure, she cried and begged and sure, we said no for a long time. But deep down, she knew. She felt her emotions roll through but she didn’t get too caught up in them because she always knew, on some level, what was coming.

I hear this from LSBC students too, and I remember feeling it myself. That deep knowing that they are actually NOT destined to a life of anxiety, depression, addiction, despite what they’ve been told. The deep knowing that they actually do have the capacity for joy and freedom, despite the evidence they see.

Looking more toward what you deeply sense, and less toward the worries and ‘what ifs’ moving through, is grounding. It’s incredibly helpful. And it’s a far wiser place to look.

From there, you naturally weather the passing storms far easier.

You begin to trust the knowing that’s calling you home as you notice that your habitual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are not the powerful, all-consuming forces they once appeared to be.

You are free already. You only need to look there more, and less toward the ‘no’s’ and ‘what if’s floating through.

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