Category: The Nature of Thought

Why Outside-in Seems so Compelling (and why it’s actually only superstition)

I had a fascinating experience this morning. I felt really good. I was totally tapped into a nice, healthy dose of inner peace. I felt a profound sense of connection—people and nature looked radiant in a way they rarely do. My always delicious coffee was off-the-charts delicious today.The Illusion Almost immediately, and even though I

How to Never Feel Resentment Again

Clients try to convince me that resentment naturally builds in relationships over time. They say so as if it’s a given.It’s not.George Pransky’s book The Relationship Handbook taught me the one, simple thing that leads to—and away from—resentment.When you focus on yourself and how their behavior affected you, you feel resentment.When your partner is away

The Problem With Problem Solving

The problem with problem solving is that most of our problems are figments of our imagination. That doesn’t mean the conditions we label “problem” aren’t real, it just means that the label… “problem”… is only your personal take on those conditions. Here’s an example. If your friend is taking advantage of you, that may actually

Life With no Memory

I heard a story about a guy who had no long-term memory and very little short-term memory. He kept a journal. By the time he wrote in his journal each night, he had pretty much forgotten everything that had happened that day. He was living in a perpetual state of present moment awareness.As it turns

Here’s how to Change Your Brain

As you’ve no doubt noticed, I talk a lot about thought. We are not our thoughts. Our thoughts are not us. Thought is habitual and über subjective.How to detach from thought. The value in observing thought without judgment.You get the picture.Aside from the amazing freedom you find when you stop taking all that mental chatter

A Story About Presence

Traveling with children is totally enlightening. I live largely in my thinking.This is my experience: Thinking…“We have three, maybe four hours between wake up time and time for Miller’s first nap. Two to three hours once you factor in breakfast and baths.What should we do?We should go to the beach. Will it be warm enough

What’s Best vs. What you Think is Best

The two S’s: Suffering and Stuck. When you feel either, there is an excellent chance that you are holding on to something you think is best for you, but it’s not.That dream you say is yours (the career you grew up knowing you’d choose, the hobbies and lifestyle you think you’re supposed to have)…it’s not

Find Peace in the Wisdom Beneath Thought

“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” ~John De Paola My almost three year old, Willow, is obsessed with playing doctor.She lies on the couch, hands down at her sides. She hands me a small flashlight and a toy frying pan (which I’m told to pretend is a stethoscope)

What to do With the Pain. (Our True Nature).

When our thoughts drift to- and fixate on- horrible events in the world, we hurt. If you pay attention, you’ll notice that your thoughts will also drift away from those things and you don’t hurt in those moments. Even in the middle of unspeakable pain, thoughts part like the clouds and the sun peaks out

Yes, you can Change the Past.

I know for sure that the past can change. Your experience of life—past, present, future—comes from what you are thinking in any given moment.In the world of form…where things are solid and objective events go down in the books, I suppose the past is not easily changed.But in the world of experience (which, let’s face