Category: The Nature of Thought

The Futility of Revisiting the Past

“Going back into the negative past to find happiness is like trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear”–Sydney Banks in Second Chance. Each time I write on this topic, or post a quote like the Sydney Banks quote above on Facebook, some people disagree. That’s not surprising at all.Therapy culture has

How to Get Rid of Unwanted Habits And Anything Else you Don’t Want to Do

For the past 6 months, nearly half of my coaching practice has been devoted to coaching women with binge eating disorder.It started when I read an incredible book called Brain Over Binge by my now friend, Kathryn Hansen. Kathryn tells the story of how she cured her own binge eating habit by seeing that it

The Real Truth About Stress

I was on my local news last week talking about stress. The truth about stress, actually. It was a little risky.You know how local news stations love to run stories about coping with stress and raising your stress tolerance?Well, I was sitting down with the health reporter who reports on those things, telling her that

The Story of Little Mind and Big Mind

Let’s talk about two minds: Little Mind and Big Mind. Little Mind is your personal thinking. It is the thinking that you grab onto and identify with; the subjective, biased thought that occurs to you and results in your own unique view of reality.Big Mind is…well…it’s not that. It’s something else; something a little less

Why I’m Naming my Book Being Human (even though you told me not to)

My second book is nearly done. I’m going to be totally honest without concern for how this sounds: I think it’s really good. I am super proud of this book in a way I never really was with Modern Enlightenment (which may have had more to do with post-pregnancy hormones than the book itself, but

One More Time… What’s my Default?

I was emailing with a sweet, sweet client a few weeks ago about how her true nature is peace of mind and total well-being. She hadn’t been in touch with that true nature as of late—she felt far from her inherent well-being and instead experienced a blanket of heavy thought. We talked about how her

So What if You Don’t Know?

“Sometimes questions are more important than answers” –Nancy WillardIt always amazes me how much meaning people attach to the innocent little state of uncertainty. Actually, “I don’t know” is an innately neutral statement of fact pertaining to a single moment in time.There is never anything inherently bad, scary, or ‘wrong’ with “I don’t know” and

Healthy Suspicion

“Thought creates the world and then says, ‘I didn’t do it’” –David Bohm Your experience of the world is created by your thinking. Everything you see “out there” is not preexisting “out there” as you’ll experience it, just waiting for your gaze to meet it. You’re projecting it “out there” as it occurs within you.Because

“Making up” Your Mind. And Allowing it to Change.

There’s nothing more attractive than a mind that’s willing to change. Because think about it—a mind that is fluid and moving, not dug in, entrenched or made up, is a guarantee that your experience is going to change. It’s a promise that you won’t stay upset for long, that things are always changing, and that

How to Avoid the Ups and Downs of Life

Stuff happens in life. You’ve probably noticed. Stuff happens to you without your approval and beyond your control. That’s the way of it.Yet, most of the people I talk with want the ups and downs to stop. They are searching for a way to keep life in the “up” territory to avoid the “downs”.It happens