Dr. Amy Johnson Blog’s

Today’s article is written by Change Coach Lindsey Elliott Doesn’t life sometimes feel pretty complex and full? I have been contemplating simplicity recently after feeling an inner nudge to simplify my life where I can, and to slow down. During the lock downs due to Covid-19 many of us would have experienced a more simple and

Today’s article is written by Change Coach Lindsey Elliott There is a lot of emphasis on self-care today, especially for women. And this a good thing on so many levels. However like most concepts in modern life, even this can feel over complicated, or like a pressure. It can become an extra thing to do or

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Suzie Yeulett Over the Christmas holiday period, my husband was incredibly busy with end of year work, commuting into London early and getting home late. My teen boys wanted to stay up late, because they were on a break from school and wanted to maximise the opportunity to chill out. Several

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Missy Maiorano Dear Body, Right now, as I type this, there are five distinct, beautiful blue bruises on your left leg from where a vein procedure was performed last week. In addition, there is a rather large pinkish-red prickly rash where the medical tape was left on a little too

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Suzie Yeulett Once you see the inside out nature of life, it’s natural to become more tolerant and understanding, because we can only ever see the world through our own lens, or point of perspective, and so can everyone else. That still references an outward view, but from the inside

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Lindsey Elliott I am sure you are like me, and have areas of your life that seem to flow easily. Yet there are others where you struggle to make changes. For some of us we might have an easy time with success at work and yet can’t seem to

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Missy Maiorano Back in 2018, when I was struggling with anxiety and depression, I was drawn to reading biographies about people who had gone through unimaginable suffering only to emerge on the other side stronger and more peaceful and resilient than ever. In most of the stories, the people

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Kelly O’Connell “It’s ruined. I’m a failure.” I woke up in the middle the night and realized I hadn’t done a class on my Peloton app the day before. You see, I made a commitment to myself starting January 1 to complete 365 days of Peloton classes IN A

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Suzie Yeulett I find myself just noticing life unfolding more and more. Something has shifted so that I see myself as the ‘noticer’, or the perceiver of life, rather than the ‘doer’ more often. I first felt this shift when my Mum was at her end of life. It was as

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Lindsey Elliott My son and I went for a walk recently, and he asked if he could to listen to some music wearing the new headphones his Dad had given him. Whilst I wanted to say no…it felt far too much like he is a teenager and not 7

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Kristina Bruce Anxiety came knocking on my door the other day, and walked right into my house. It’s still here actually, sitting on my couch, looking quite comfortable. I have no idea when it will leave. My immediate reaction when it arrived was, “Oh, you again.” Instead of welcoming it in,

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Lindsey Elliott A few days ago I had an insight about makeup. It was quite an innocent, small thought but it led me to see again that what I think isn’t necessarily true. I was thinking about a friend of mine who I know to be confident, grounded, strong, independent

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Becky Anderson As I have been building my coaching business and what feels like “putting myself out there”, so many insecurities have come up for me that do not seem to fit the situation. And what I realized recently is that of course they have. My brain has had

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Dave Fry The words may not do this story justice because it felt like swimming under giant waves in the ocean. You know when you watch the surfers fall off their boards into those rolling waves and wonder why they’re not shredded into pieces from the crushing force? Supposedly,

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Becky Gagnon The other day, I went paragliding. It was spur-of-the-moment decision. While traveling in Switzerland, I took a bus to Chamonix for the day, just to see the cute little Alpine ski town. I figured they’d have good chocolate or something. I got off the bus, and breathed in the

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Suzie Yeulett Water does not resist, it flows A river adapts to whatever surroundings it comes up against and continues to flow – it will find a way to go where it wants to go. Since life, like a river, is constantly moving and changing without our direction, there’s less for

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Pam Hall I wonder what would happen if I were to deeply realize that my journey is a spiritual journey? That it has nothing to do with my weight, the way that I eat, the number on the scale, or the way my body feels. I wonder if I could

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Becky Gagnon I realized something lately: I don’t have to think about the outcome of the things I do. I can see now that it’s that simple, but it didn’t look that way to me until very recently. So if this notion sounds crazy to you, I get it. Let

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Missy Maiorano In 2018, when I was in the throes of battling chronic hives and lip swelling, all I wanted was to have my old life back. I wanted the “happy, carefree Missy who wore cute sundresses and a bright smile.” I wanted the feelings of hopelessness and fear

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Sarah Edwards I used to have a full-blown relationship with my Apple Watch. I would gaze at it several times a minute to check how my day was going…emails, texts, step count, calories burned, my bank balance, my diary…signs of atrial fibrillation. Technology for a busy person perpetually in forward

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Suzie Yeulett We have very little control over what happens in life. I saw this when I lost my Mum. Rather than this thought scaring me, it felt like freedom. There’s less for us ‘to do’, or to manage. That doesn’t mean we do nothing, it means we can just do

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Kristina Bruce The other day I posted a video to YouTube titled “You DON’T Need to WORRY About What You Eat. Here’s Why”. It garnered a comment from someone who seemed quite upset that I was telling people not to care about what they eat (and subsequently not care about

The word ‘relax’ has taken on many meanings for me throughout the years. As a kid with energy to burn, I heard “relax”. Stop being so full of life. The adults wanted peace and quiet. Then, relax felt unnatural. As an anxious 20-something, I heard conflicting advice. “Work hard, make something of yourself, what you do now matters”.

For me, “waking up” has been a little like defrosting a freezer with a hair dryer. I’ve personally never defrosted a freezer with a hair dryer, but I’ve watched my husband do it. Heat is applied and at first, nothing appears to happen. Little by little, an inch of ice at a time becomes watery and shinier

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Lindsey Elliott I heard a statistic the other day that 95% of the thoughts we had yesterday, we will have today!! I’m not sure how this has been measured but it certainly feels true to me. No wonder that we all struggle with habits, addictions, low self-esteem, lack of confidence,

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Wendy Healy Sometimes I get a glimpse of the “Observer,” where two worlds connect and I get a real sense that there is something else running this thing called Life… Today the Observer is fully enjoying watching me teach Aqua class. I can feel her there, floating somewhere over my

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Alex Linares Today I managed to make it to hot yoga despite all my mind’s protest regarding all the other things I should do. The last few weeks at work have been testing my ability to remember this understanding, the universe asking like a toddler: how grounded are you when

Today’s article was written by Change Coach Becky Gagnon I hear this phrase often from people who want to lose weight: “I just don’t feel like myself at this weight. I want to feel like myself again.” Here’s the thing though: you ARE yourself. You are yourself. Your “you-ness” doesn’t come from your body. How could it? If it did,

In a recent LSBC call, a woman was talking about how her mind is always trying to be in control. Constantly scrambling to know everything, so that it can protect and prevent. That is its job, after all. I guess what it really comes down to, she concluded after a moment of reflection, is a deep, human

When I was struggling with anxiety, my world was tiny. I went to class, but only when there was an open seat right by the door. I can’t tell you how many times I walked by the classroom, saw that the only open seats were way across the room, and kept walking.  I went to the grocery

When I talk about leaning into everything that arises with curiosity, it’s a little like watching a dramatic movie scene with no musical soundtrack telling you how you’re supposed to feel.  The dramatic soundtrack may be playing, but your curiosity allows you to see that as a lens rather than as reality.  When you’re exploring what’s arising

There is an incredibly clear way life shows you that you’re seeing things through a thick and biased filter of thought. It shows you through discomfort. When you’re feeling things like resistance, self-consciousness, guilt, regret, shame, or anxiety, you’re identified with experience as if it’s “yours”; as if you’re a separate “me” to whom life is happening. Rumi

There’s a worm addicted to eatinggrape leaves.Suddenly, he wakes up,call it grace, whatever, somethingwakes him, and he’s no longera worm.He’s the entire vineyard,and the orchard too,the fruit, the trunks,a growing wisdom and joythat doesn’t needto devour.–This is How a Human Being Can Change by Rumi The worm doesn’t break his grape leaf addiction by cutting out

Everything you experience and everything you see in the world around you is filtered through the often invisible, yet incredibly powerful lens of me-and-my-life. For starters, it looks like there is a you, separate from life, having a life. It looks like there is a you, separate from life, to whom good, bad, wanted and unwanted

A habit or ongoing problem, by definition, requires memory. It requires a brain that pulls ideas, concepts, and memories through time and draws sweeping conclusions about them. A brain that says, “This thing happened in the past, so I assume it’ll happen again in the future.” Without a past and future conversation, there’s just Now. Anything that’s

It can look like we’re responsible for making things happen. Life looks like our responsibility. Our outcomes, including our own peace of mind, happiness, and anything we want to change, appear to be up to us to figure out. But what if change is not up to us? What if human minds love to take credit for things,

Suffering is feedback, showing us that we’re attached to ideas and thoughts that appear true, but aren’t. For example, when you believe you’re not good enough or life should be other than how it is, you suffer. That suffering is alerting you to your identification with a fleeting, false idea. Like suffering, habits and anxiety are

We’ve been led to believe that our thoughts and feelings are ours to manage and control. At the very least, most people believe there are things we can do to help our mind relax or to help ourselves feel better. But what if thoughts and feelings change completely on their own, all the time? You couldn’t stop

When in doubt, feel.Feeling what’s arising is the ironic way to suffer less. Yes, leaning into discomfort makes it not feel so much like discomfort. The resistance is gone. The hiding and fear are gone. Leaning into safe, perfect energy is all there is.When you feel, what wants to happen is happening. It’s a relief,

There is only life appearing as everything.There is life appearing as an eating disorder.Life appearing as a memory, frustration, resistance, fear, excitement.Life appearing as a woman getting a promotion, a man getting a divorce, a woman being elected to office. Life appears as a person or a blue bird or a slug; a job, a

Fifteen years ago, I rang in 2006 with a group of friends in Chicago. We had tickets to an event that included a four course meal followed by a night of drinking and club-hopping.  Early in the second course of our dinner, I started to feel sick. I managed to finish most of my meal

It was maybe my most meaningful gig ever. Sharing ‘how we work’ with a troop of 9-year old Girl Scouts.I asked so many questions.What do they know about their thoughts, feelings, and why they do the things they do?Where do feelings come from?How do they know things? Not the things they learn in school, but

I knew someone with a very sensitive stomach. The tiniest bit of worry and she’d instantly feel sick.She cursed her stomach. Saw it as a weakness, a flaw.She wanted her stomach fixed. Her mind was full of potential ways I might help her toughen up her wimpy tummy. Could we train it to not react

Do you want a foolproof test of how deeply you see how the human experience really works? Notice your initial reaction to the title of this post. That’s your test.Did you think: “Way to point out the obvious, Amy. Duh.”?Is it crystal clear that there is nothing scary in the world and there is no such

You’d like to be painfully stuck in a habit, addiction, or compulsion?Do you want change that feels like a tenuous, uphill battle?You’re in the right place! I’ve felt stuck in several of my own habits and I’ve talked with thousands of people who say they are stuck in a habit or addiction themselves. I’ve seen

I spent a couple days last week with a nice man who is looking for a better way to feel better. Alcohol, a plethora of pharmaceuticals, and some behavioral habits that jeopardize his health and relationships aren’t working anymore. He is ready for a better way.He was brand new to the understanding of health and resilience

The publisher of The Little Book of Big Change asked me to write something for their blog about the lower brain.I was a little hesitant.Not because an understanding of the brain isn’t super interesting. It is.And seeing how the brain works in a deeper, more insightful way–beyond the mechanics–can be incredibly freeing. It was for

The world is full of good ideas and nice people who are happy to share them.Bumper sticker phrases. Instagram memes. Pop song refrains.There is only now.Let it go.You are perfect.Spend time in silence.It’s all in your head.Forgive and forget.Serve others.These good ideas might point out something you hadn’t thought of, or remind you of something

Life moves through you. It powers you.   Imagine a kaleidoscope sitting in a dark corner of a shelf. With no light moving through, it’s just a pile of plastic. Then someone picks it up, puts it to their eyes, and turns toward the window. Stuff! Shapes and colors are brought to life by the light

People I’m working with for the first time often wonder why they didn’t experience deep, lasting change in the past despite the fact that they did ‘all the right things’. They talked to the right people about their problems. They paid the money and put in the time and effort.In the case of anxiety, rumination, insecurity,

I had a close friend in graduate school. I’ll call her Karen.  A few years before I met Karen, her mom died after a long illness. Because Karen was the oldest child (Karen’s parents were divorced), she was responsible for making some critical medical decisions on her mother’s behalf.She never knew exactly what her mother

I bet you’ve tried change the hard way. Pretty much everyone has. The hard way is where you fall into one or more of these traps:You consider your habit or unwanted behavior a huge problem; it looks like a personality flaw, a weakness, or maybe even a disease. It hasn’t occurred to you that your unwanted

I hear about a woman with a blog and a YouTube channel who started tracking her macronutrient intake (it’s okay, I had to google it too) and her binge eating habit went away. Four different clients in one week tell me they are now counting, analyzing and tracking every morsel of food that goes in

I’m at a substance abuse treatment center this week, sharing a deeper understanding of habits, addiction, and mental health with their staff. The unintentional theme of our talks so far has been about our “machinery” (i.e., our brain) versus what’s bigger than the machinery.See, machinery can be a bit wonky.Machinery can be a bit sticky, or not

I’m always having conversations with people about the fact that we feel our own mental dialogue, and only our own mental dialogue, all day every day.Life is an inside-out experience, coming from within our own minds, not from the world around us or from the things happening to us.And I totally get that that can

**This article was originally published July, 2014**Not unlike most dogs, my dog Buddha is petrified of fireworks.  Unfortunately for Buddha, our little corner of the world (maybe also not unlike your corner of the world) is positively cuckoo for fireworks. The past couple of weeks have been rough on her. (That’s her in the picture on

Oh geez, here I go again telling you that your mind makes stuff up.But I want to take it a step further, because I really want you to grasp the enormity of this.What if everything you’ve ever thought–simply by virtue of it being a thought that passes through your mind–is biased and slanted? What if

We all have one singular motivation for everything we do in life: we want to feel at home. There are a million ways you might express that one universal desire. You might say you want to feel like yourself, know your true self, be relaxed and on purpose in life……you might say you want to feel

One thing has been strikingly clear to me lately: We only have a problem when we think we do.buy tadacip online buy tadacip no prescription no prescription Our calling something—anything—a problem (or whatever words you use: this is wrong, this is hard, why is this happening? I don’t like this, it’s anxiety, it’s my habit) is

Six years ago when I was preparing to give birth to Willow, I wanted to do things as naturally as possible. And I was scared. I had heard mostly birthing horror stories from the women in my family, all focused on what could (and sometimes, did) go wrong.  None of them spoke about the miracle of

I’d love for you to join me for what promises to be an enlightening, candid conversation on Tuesday, March 15th about finding true freedom from habits and addiction.I’ll be chatting with success coach Steve Chandler. If you don’t know Steve, he’s the author of 30 books and his newest project, called Death Wish, is all

This week’s article was written by Terry Rubenstein at the Innate Health Center in London. I love Terry’s emails, and I thought this one on simplicity was particularly share-worthy. The truth in things is always simple. When anything is appearing complex to us, we’re simply seeing it that way in that moment, from the current

We experience our inner world, not our outer world. The nature of the human mind and consciousness is such that it’s not possible to directly experience something other than what our own mind is creating and bringing to life.  I’m not saying that we put our own subjective spin on what happens out in the

I have two conversations for you this week. Both are about seeing how our human experience unfolds within and through us, moment-to-moment.Which should you check out? Both! But let me give you a little low-down on each so that you can make the best decision for yourself.The first conversation is with Lydia Wente, lifestyle coach

The image to the right is my new favorite way of thinking about how the machine-that-is your-brain will lead you through life, if you let it.  Your brain is brilliant. It’s capable of incredible feats of intellect, memory, and logic. It keeps your body humming along and it has successfully kept you alive long enough

At first glance, it looks like the world around us determines how we feel. It looks like: Your cat runs away = you feel sad.  If your cat hadn’t run away = you’d feel better.And that’s probably true about the cat. I mean, it’s not true for everyone, always, across the board. But in general, when

I recently had a pretty “off” few days. There was a lot going on around me that I was taking on internally; replaying, rehashing, batting around in my mind.After what felt like a long funk, there was a moment in the car with the kids one morning when it lifted.The steady stream of thoughts that had

Every article I write points at the same basic truths. Each article is a different way of looking at how our human experience is created moment to moment by our own thinking.This week, I wanted to take a step back and revisit the basics that I’ve seen be so helpful for so many people.Enjoy the

My husband is a major backseat driver. To his credit, he tries hard not to be. He is quiet while I’m driving. It’s not like he’s screaming directions or barking orders at me–at least not since that last mid-trip “discussion”…But he definitely tries to drive from the passenger’s seat. Every time I pull into traffic he’s

(Read this on Huffington Post or comment there, if you want!)You’ve heard, “The mind is a wonderful servant but terrible master,” right?Or, “Use your mind; don’t let it use you”?Over the past few years in my own life, I’ve seen that these are not only cute sayings people toss around when they are trying to

A couple years ago Willow came home from preschool repeating something her teacher had said in class.“You get what you get, and don’t throw a fit.”Maybe you’ve heard this before. I hadn’t, and I instantly loved it. Not only because it put a stop to a lot of “it’s not fair” arguments (it really did!),

I heard something from a client yesterday that was music to my ears.In talking about her week prior, she said “I know it was full of ups and downs, but I didn’t feel the need to talk about them. And I don’t even remember them all now.”No, she not in denial and she doesn’t have

**This article was originally published here in October 2014**Imagine that you wrote yourself a really mean letter, detailing all of your flaws and faults. You put the letter in the mail, addressed to yourself.  A couple days later, it arrives in your mailbox.You read the letter. While it probably doesn’t feel good—it might bring back the

The beautiful piece below was written by a former client of mine. She, like all of us, is on learning curve in seeing how things work. At times her learning curve has been steep; other times a bit more flat. But she’s fully in this conversation, looking with curiosity and hope toward what there is to

One of my favorite things about understanding the way our mind creates our experience is that it’s so simple. It only works one way.The spiritual energy that is alive in all things makes it possible for thinking show up within us. That thinking is brought to life by our consciousness in the form of vivid, sensory-packed,

Please watch this 9 min video about the Second Annual Being Human Workshop in Ann Arbor this October. I’m really excited about it and I hope you’ll take the leap and choose to join us for a life-changing weekend.You can find out more here (after you watch the video, of course!)  Ready to sign up? Related

Imagine there’s an oven. A magic oven!  The magic oven has a timer that you can hear from wherever you are. Even the timer is magic because you don’t have to set it—the oven is so wise and so magical that the timer simply sounds off when your delicious creations are complete.Pretty magical, eh?!All you

Much as it pains me at times, my kids are growing up. (If you’re new here and you aren’t familiar with Willow and Miller, check out Being Human. Or these favorite, favorite, favorite posts.) They are still amazingly present little balls of life, but I see them getting caught up in their thought-created inner worlds more

I recently read a book that blew my mind.It’s called The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer (the author of The Untethered Soul, a book I reference and recommend at the end of Being Human). The Surrender Experiment is the true story of what the author experienced when he stopped trying to control everything that showed

As much as it looks like your suffering is caused by something out in the world, it’s not. And as much as it feels like your anxiety is about something, it really isn’t. Your drinking isn’t about alcohol, and your working-all-day-and-night habit isn’t caused by your type-A personality. Your insecurity isn’t due to your shyness or

The fact that all is well in the outside world—that there are conditions and circumstances but not problems, per se, out there—is something I’m continually discussing with people.  It’s quite simple, actually. And when people are already in a nice feeling, they see it right away.buy viagra capsules online https://www.mabvi.org/wp-content/themes/mabvi/images/new/viagra-capsules.html no prescription There’s something that

“The day you cease to travel, you will have arrived”—Japanese saying I heard somewhere The more you think about yourself, the less content you tend to be. You intuitively know this to be true, don’t you?  It works in reverse as well: the more content you are, the less you tend to think about yourself.Just look

I’ve never met anyone who wouldn’t want something about themselves to be a bit different.  Whether it’s being a few inches taller, or being a little more focused or driven or relaxed, we can all point to something we’d change if we could. It’s only human.It’s not a problem that we can all point to

Meet Dave. When Dave was dating his girlfriend Debbie, he had a lot of complaints about her.Dave said Debbie was negative. She never saw possibilities, only problems. She expected too much of him.Dave said Debbie was hard to live with at times. And yet, something kept Dave hanging on.In time, Dave asked Debbie to marry him.

I just found out that my upcoming book (it’ll be published by New Harbinger this time next year) will be called The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking any Habit. Although I wouldn’t have necessarily thought to describe it as a “no-willpower approach”, it is an accurate description.It’s not that I’m

I get a lot of questions about how we can teach the things I write about to young children.   Raising children who see the truth about their nature, who are comfortable with emotion, and who know how their experience is created, is a big deal. It’s no exaggeration to say that this understanding could

How It Looked Then Fourteen years ago I found myself with a diagnosis: panic disorder.I was having up to 25 panic attacks a day.  Many days, I spent more time in a state of acute anxiety than not.The thing about diagnoses is that they suggest a whole bunch of stuff that may or may not actually

There is a popular saying in addiction recovery. Your best thinking got you here.You did what you did …you’re always doing what you’re doing…because it seemed like the thing to do in that moment. Your best thinking got you here.That doesn’t mean part of you didn’t know there was another way. When you have several

When I stopped “working on myself” and put an end to the all-consuming quest to be better than I already was, life became infinitely nicer. I used to believe I had a problem: life wasn’t always wonderful. Making myself a more self-actualized, better person looked like the obvious solution.Turns out, all of that supposed self-help was

Maybe you’ve had a time in your life when there were no particular goals you were working toward and nothing in particular you were dreaming about.When, if someone walked up to you on the street and granted you a wish, you’d need a few minutes to place your order?I have clients in that place and

When I first read this short blog post by my friend Bonnie, I knew I’d want to share with you all at some point. She writes about the evolution so many of us go through. I went through it too, very similar to how Bonnie describes it.Imagine this—maybe you can relate:  You’re floating through life pretty

The people I work with are smarter than your average bear. They are resourceful, bright, successful people.The other day, a man I find especially bright and resourceful (if I had a question about anything I’d ask this guy, knowing he could find the answer in a flash), told me he was looking for a way

I’d really love it if you’d read this hilarious and entertaining article.    My friend Lisa wrote it about her year of silence. Her year of silence was a long time ago, but as you can imagine, spending a year in silence is kind of a big deal in one’s life. So it took her

Everyone I’ve ever met has had some habit or addiction they’d like to kick for good. And nearly everyone I’ve ever met has lots of opinions on how to do that. The 10 big ideas that follow are adaptations from the latest cutting-edge neuroscience research and some very powerful spiritual principles. This is the approach that has

“When we…go back into the past and rake up all the troubles we’ve had, we end up reeling and staggering through life. Stability and peace of mind come by living in the moment.” ~Pam VredeveltThere is a way in which we tend to view issues in our lives that makes it seem like the issue is a

One day several months ago, a woman named Jen reached out to me to let me know how much she loved Being Human. She heard something really profound in the ideas in that book (ideas that I take no ownership of, by the way. They are universal principles, not my unique thoughts). Jen heard something so

We just bought a house.  It’s a great house, but it also needs a lot of work. Some of the work is relatively small — like painting every ceiling, wall, door, baseboard and square inch of crown molding — while some is much bigger — like a complete kitchen and master bathroom remodel.We’ve been working

Michael Neill shared the poem If by Rudyard Kipling on a call I was on with him a few weeks back and it struck me as an excellent thing to share with you. The way of traveling through life described in the poem is entirely possible. It is the promise of the sort of understanding

Like most high school and college students, I went through a lot of summer jobs.  I was a hostess at Applebee’s. I worked in a Ford Motor Company plant where I drove a hi-lo, picking car parts to ship off to assembly plants around the world. I was a bartender at a dive bar outside

I bet you’ve known someone whose feelings shifted and they decided they were no longer in love with the person they used to be in love with. Maybe it’s even been you. When you fall out of love, it can really look like the person you used to love changed. Something that was once there

“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” ~Cicero  You know that state of confusion where you feel really unsure about what to do—you’re talking about it with all of your friends, making lists, weighing options, lying awake all night?As truly confused and unsure as you may feel in those moments, you’re not. You have

What if nothing in the outside, physical world had a significant impact on how you feel on a daily basis? Can you imagine?If you knew for certain that nothing in the external world—not partners, jobs, kids, houses, money, how you look, what you say, think, or do with your time—had a significant impact on your

“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” –Sydney Banks  There is so much less to do in life than you might think.Have you noticed how sometimes, when you’re not trying or doing anything in particular, you find yourself bounced back into a

“We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.” ~Sir Anthony HopkinsI have a special treat for you-my voice!Okay, my voice may not be all that special but I thought you might get tired of

Positive feelings are built into who you are. They are part of your design, they were in your original blueprints, they come pre-installed when you were born.  You can’t think your way to positive feelings, at least not in any real or lasting way. You can think happy thoughts and feel happy feelings, or think

“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do” –Eckhart Tolle I was recently speaking with a friend about what it feels like to connect with your underlying, always-there, state of well-being. I attempted to describe the indescribable—the feeling underneath the mental

It seems that every time I hear useful advice about how to influence children, it always comes back to the same thing: Whatever it is you want your kids to do, do it yourself.  (This applies to relationships with anyone, by the way. Give what you want to get. Be the change you want to

I used to read a lot of very traditional self-help. It wasn’t always the case—but it also wasn’t rare—that I’d close the book feeling a little worse than when I started. Searching for answers outside of yourself can be a desperate cycle of getting your hopes up, being let down, and blaming yourself.Self-help sometimes hurts

My second book is nearly done. I’m going to be totally honest without concern for how this sounds: I think it’s really good. I am super proud of this book in a way I never really was with Modern Enlightenment (which may have had more to do with post-pregnancy hormones than the  book itself, but

“Sometimes questions are more important than answers” –Nancy WillardIt always amazes me how much meaning people attach to the innocent little state of uncertainty. Actually, “I don’t know” is an innately neutral statement of fact pertaining to a single moment in time.There is never anything inherently bad, scary, or ‘wrong’ with “I don’t know” and

It’s pretty amazing what people do because they think it will give them a better life. They wake up insanely early and go to bed insanely late. They go to college, they set goals. They work hard or they refuse to work hard. They decide to be ambitious. They get married or they stay single; they

This is a fantastic article by my friend Lisa Esile. “The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.” ~Pema ChodronForgiveness is good, right? I don’t mean in a heal the planet kind of way—I mean in a selfish, me me me kind of way.We want to let go of our resentments and connect

The outside-in illusion is a persuasive one, I tell you. I’m working on my second book. Earlier this week I sat on the floor of my office—Cat Stevens blaring through Spotify—with 44 pages spread in front of me, each one representing a different chapter, quote, or story I plan to include. I spent an hour

Time moves. Quickly. Quite unfairly, it often appears to speed up the older you are.But there is a way to combat that time-fly that doesn’t involve a time machine. It’s being fully in your life today. Moving right in, inhabiting your moments and experiences.Here’s an easy rule of thumb:Experiencing your thinking about life = time

What percentage of your day do you suppose you’re in your head, trying to figure something out? Maybe you’re thinking about what’s for dinner or using concepts and memory to solve a problem at work.Maybe you’re trying to arrive at the best way to discipline your kids, ask your boss if you can leave work

I had a fascinating experience this morning. I felt really good. I was totally tapped into a nice, healthy dose of inner peace. I felt a profound sense of connection—people and nature looked radiant in a way they rarely do. My always delicious coffee was off-the-charts delicious today.The Illusion Almost immediately, and even though I

Things happen to us that we can’t control. All the time.But we do have some control over what we bring to the table: how we prepare, our qualities, our attitude. And we do have some control over how we respond to those chance things that happen to us.It’s like the old joke about the guy

Traveling with children is totally enlightening. I live largely in my thinking.This is my experience: Thinking…“We have three, maybe four hours between wake up time and time for Miller’s first nap.  Two to three hours once you factor in breakfast and baths.What should we do?We should go to the beach. Will it be warm enough

As I’ve reminded you many times, you are perfect. There is nothing wrong with you. Self-help is a massive misnomer. The only help you might need is understanding.Understanding that when your perfection and peace of mind are not obvious, they are only being veiled by personal thought.Understanding that personal thought is highly subjective. Arbitrary, even.

Here’s what goal setting looks like when you believe in an Outside-In World:  You believe something “out there” in the world will make you happy, so you set a goal to achieve it.  Sounds pretty typical, right?The thing is, when you’re chasing down a goal because you think it’s going to make you happy, you’re

I got up to change the baby’s diaper last night and when I came back to bed, something seemed off about my husband. He seemed to be sleeping unusually still. I couldn’t hear or see him breathing.  My mind immediately raced to what life would be like if he were dead.Read the rest on Purpose

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” -Thich Nhat HanhMost people I know are carrying extra weight—and I’m not talking about gaining a few pounds.  I’m talking about the mental and emotional weight we lug around with us. We carry it everywhere—like a backpack full of bricks—and it weighs

I recently spent an entire week writing down all my thoughts that began with the words “I should”. I went through a lot of paper.Some were blatantly obvious. They flowed from my head and straight out of my mouth, like when I told hubby, “I should be working, it’s almost 9am” as we cleaned up

I have a beautiful new client who wants to feel better. She has a lot of circumstances in her life that no one would wish for.Because of those circumstances, her well-meaning friends expect her to be in constant misery. Her dear, benevolent friends believe that happiness and peace of mind come from the outside-in.They believe

Willow and I have a girls’ day routine. We go for a long walk and I take her to a park she loves because there is a fountain there.buy levitra online buy levitra no prescription no prescription She stands on the ledge of the fountain. I give her a penny and tell her to throw

“You can be anything you want.”  Empowering, right?  One of my all-time favorite books discusses how my generation grew up with feminist mothers “empowering” us with this very statement, day in and day out.My mom taught me this. Did yours?But instead of empowering us, that simple little statement set off a lifelong quest for perfectionism.

For all the talk about getting clear on what you want, having a vision, keeping your eye on the prize……I want to tell you that it’s also okay to have no flippin’ clue what’s next. It’s okay to not know exactly what you want.It’s okay to have no vision. Or for your vision to simply

Whose opinion do you trust? When all those outside opinions of  you are screaming in your head, which one is loudest? Which carries the most weight?  Which one do you believe over the others?buy vardenafil online buy vardenafil no prescription no prescriptionThe voice that sounds most assertive or confident?buy clomiphene online buy clomiphene no prescription

A client recently asked for some motivation. Specifically, she wanted to be motivated to consistently take some actions that she was currently being inconsistent about.Even more specific…how ‘bout I just tell you exactly what she said?Client:“I exercise sporadically, I make efforts towards finding a new job sporadically, I take care of my needs sporadically. I

Did you catch Bishop TD Jakes on Oprah’s Lifeclass a few weeks back? (You can watch most of it here if you’re interested). Jakes was talking to a woman about speaking her mind with her brother. Finally telling him how she feels so that she can move past her resentment and get on with her

The power was out on much of the East Coast last weekend.  Some people were really affected by the outage. You’ve seen these people—the ones who end up interviewed by the local news or The Weather Channel. Their lives are put on hold until power is restored. They have no say in when their power

I’m beginning to think all anxiety in life comes from wanting to control things.  Me and anxiety are pretty tight. I’ve been on all sides: coaching hundreds of people through it, coaching myself through it, and before all that, being home-bound and debilitated from it.And my decades of “research” are pointing to one single underlying